The Blessed Journey...

I know who I am... I am His!

2009-02-02T19:11:00.002-05:00

So...this is a really quick blog because I have to meet up with someone to walk over to a meeting in ten minutes! I basically attended a retreat/revival at church this weekend. I was filled with the spirit of God and he really stirred something up in me.

For the first time ever I am thirsty for God! I am actively pursuing Him! Instead of the one sided relationship it was before.

I have definitely changed for the better! So I will blog the next time I have some time just to talk about what I have been realizing.

God is so good!

When I'm not close to God...

2009-01-27T09:36:00.001-05:00

I feel depressed and paranoid.

My trust in people never ceases to deplete.

2009-01-25T17:34:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I see myself as a selfless giver who is surrounded by selfish self centered people.

That is all...

I know... it's been a while...

2008-12-20T13:02:00.004-05:00

Well, I've been busy. School was really kicking my butt. Now that I am on break I will reassess everything for next semester...and therefore plan everything out so that it will all go seamlessly and perfectly.

HA!!!!! YEAH RIGHT!

It's all in God's plan and timing.

I do have pretty exciting news though. I got accepted as part of the team on this service trip to Nicaragua this summer. It's going to be amazing. Really amazing! I'm used to giving money to causes I like but now I will actually be getting to go and get dirty. Things are looking up!

Seriously I understand the reason for suffering a little and then having amazing things happen- you're so much more grateful.

Since I got home Wednesday night I haven't seen any friends or family other than my mom and a family friend that was staying here. That will change today. I'm so looking forward to this break and playing with kids and laughing and not having to work.

So I'm listening to John Mayer's "Clarity" right now. It always reminds me of a calming slightly rainy day. The kind where you have nothing to do but sleep in and chill with a cute movie on the tv and drink tea. :-) I think I'm a dreamer. A dreamer that definitely goes after her dreams though.

So here's a link to the trip I will be going on :-) http://grove.ufl.edu/~recurso/

More later.

President Barack Obama...

2008-11-05T09:48:00.000-05:00

YES WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathe in and Breathe out...

2008-11-01T23:02:00.004-04:00

So I really like to make lists...daily lists....weekly lists... I have a planner, a calendar, and a bunch of dry erase boards to list things to do while I'm home or as soon as I wake up. I love a list so I will list a few quirks/ facts about me that I've been noticing or have noticed.

-I'm a creature of habit.
As soon as I wake up I go to the bathroom, hop in the shower, put on music, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, do my hair and makeup, probably check facebook 138712937128 times and then head off to class.

-Also...when I order out at restaurants... I either order the same thing I always get or something with shrimp... I really like shrimp.

-I really love music. Like really love it. I love the different stages in life different artists are in in their lyrics...I just have a deep understanding for the process of life. I like a lot of different types of music. As long as they tell a story or evoke a mood that I'm feeling then I like them.

I really really want Mat Kearney to come out with a new album soon!

-I'm a tv junky. I watch my shows online for the most part on my own time though. So I'm not a slave to their schedule. I've loved tv since I was really young. I sometimes forget about shows I watch for weeks and then I'm like "Oh man... I have to catch up."
My current shows are: greys, life on mars, army wives, desperate housewives, heroes, samantha who, lipstick jungle, private practice, mad men... oh the list goes on.

-I really love accessories. Forever Love is my favorite store for necklaces... I pretty much only wear necklaces and earrings.

-I love 50's style dresses. The sweetheart neckline type is my favorite.
which also makes me a little obsessed with this wedding dress...

-But don't worry, I'm not getting married anytime soon. I have yet to find the man God wants me to marry. So calm down. lol. ;-)

- So lately I've been growing into my own. I've been caring about how I look more hence the makeup bullet up top. lol. Doing my hair and stuff. I wanted this year to be a year of changes...for the better. :-). I've been having a little more fun with people aswell as doing my projects. No more slaving away in studio.

-This is my last semester of Architorture. 14 more classes left of my studio class. That's crazy. But I'm definitely looking forward to just focusing on interior design from now on.

-Cookies and cream ice cream is my favorite. Bluebell or that kind I got at J.P. Licks in Boston has to be the best I've ever tried. I love that you don't have to guess what kind of ice cream you're eating. The cookies are right there lol.

-After college I want to live in a big city. I'm willing to move anywhere I get a job if I like the place enough.

-I like to think of myself as a moderate. Conservative with my own choices but liberal with others', I don't think I should tell anyone what to do with their lives. I just want to love people and show them how I'm living.

-I love christmas time and winter...

-I love the hallmark channel, lifetime, and abc family during that time for all the holiday movies.

-My favorite movies are the back to the future series and pretty much a bunch of chick flicks.

-I get tired of doing things pretty easily... like making lists about things about myself. There'll be a part 2 sometime soon...maybe...

to be continued...

It's been a while...

2008-10-17T16:53:00.006-04:00

I've kind of been spending time, whatever I have of it __________- well I actually don't know what I've been doing. I've been going to class, working on projects... We're working on this project in my architorture class based on the city of Venice, Italy. I'd rather go there to learn than have to infer from pictures and maps.

Other than that I've been cherishing the time when I've gone home before 3am (my breaking point.) Like last night, I got home a little after midnight and decided to decorate my dorm door with halloween decor. I'll put up a picture later. Then I bought Christmas lights just to hang up in my room.

Last weekend I moved my room around and now I feel all free and uncramped in it. I mean it's still a dorm room but atleast my bed is against the window and it leaves a whole area in the middle for walking around. :-).

I've noticed that college is on a whole different time zone from regular aged people. Especially in my program. I see people get as close in a week as it would take people outside of college to do in months.

We stay up till all hours of the next morning, complain together, encourage eachother, fight, get coffee together, go to class together, and work on our projects.

Relationships in college get serious fast.

With the situation I was in I was feeling like the ~~relationship~~ had been months long and it had only been 2 weeks. Not that it was a relationship or anything. lol.

Anyway, I got the new Ray Lamontagne album on Tuesday from Itunes. I'm still listening to it. I had heard "You are the best thing" a week or two ago and loved it.

So tonight I'm going to go see the secret life of bees, tomorrow a picnic with other interior design majors, sunday church and soulfest.... aswell as having to work on three projects due tuesday.

My favorite song.

2008-10-02T01:21:00.003-04:00

I think I found my favorite song. Like ever. Maybe. I mean other ones come and go but I think when a song is about the truth which never changes due to time or conditions then it definitely has some longevity.

I've been learning a lot about myself lately. Realizing I was struggling even when I didn't know it.

There's a lot of growth going on which is a good thing but with that growth sometimes I feel like I'm talking to no one. Like things are happening but what am I to do? I want a clear sign about things that are going on. Do I pursue certain things. I analyze pretty much everything before I do it but I analyze it so much that in the end I kind of don't have a definite answer. I rely on God to give me signs or something. I'm just in the place where I want to do things right, I want to also see the big picture now so that I know what steps to take to end up in the right place.

Is there predestination? In any aspect? Is there a path we should take or is it a "live your life" and do the best you can and you'll still end up there?

I may just be confusing myself. I want deep meaningful conversations with christians that doesn't happen at a bible study. I feel like I can't just hang out without being cut off to pray. I love God and Jesus... I pray too but I just like... I don't know. Prayer isn't the issue. I just feel that I want to be a part of communities that care about you everyday of the week and not just at bible study. and that you can be genuine with.

I also have doubts about co-leading a bible study. I've never been much of a teacher. I kind of just like to read the bible. Maybe ask questions to someone if I have any. I just feel like before or at the same time as bible study there should be like life groups or something. Pretty much a group of christians who have fun together.

I just don't feel like I'm at a place to lead anything that I'm not passionate about. Especially when I don't feel like I'm at the right place in my life to be a moral compass to anyone. I know Jesus is supposed to be but I don't want to be a hypocrite either and I just feel like a leadership position is something really serious.

I know I'm very vague in this blog but sometimes writing everything out is just too much.

Memorial Stones, By: Mat Kearney

A young one, in just tears
Lying in my own fears
Lying, choking in a puddle
Drowning down in my own tears
Left you for the simple spread
Taking the steps it ends in
Lie down in a self-dug grave,
Cloud formed over my head as I laid myself down to rest
The enemy camped upon my chest
With blinded eyes and lies
Till cries he did profess
With rain and thundering storms
And clouds that fogged my intellect
With guilt and shame he built his house
And doubts in the form of self respect
With lightning that was frightening
Taking my eyes up off the Lord
Trying to discredit and edit
The words of truth he found in sword
He harmed me and disarmed me
And he charmed me with his army
But I stand before you right now
Cause the Lord came upon me
With the morning sun that pierced the cloud
And made the moisture dissipate
With a northern wind, the fog will clear
And the rays touched my face
Holy Spirit, warmed me, swarmed me
Touching me with a sweet taste
He picked me up, and kicked my butt
And placed me back in the right race
Lord, you brought me out of shackles
Divided seas all along
It’s in you that I still stand
It’s in you that I have song

Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
Lord you brought me along
I had a change through the desert
In you Lord that I’m strong
Raining bread from the heavens
Giving me a new song
Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
I’m pressing on

From the day to day, the miry clay
Through the wilderness astray
You brought me to the river Jordan
Bow my head down low and pray
And thank a faithful God
Who’s brought his water to my lip
Grabbed my hand and led me to the promised land where the honey drips
And the vines filled with fruit of all kinds
For the spirit, soul, and mind
Around the sound of chimes
The water stopped and came in line
And clattered feet sound
Israel crossed the dry ground
Memorial stones were laid down
In awe of your love that’s so profound
You brought the old into a new face
With a new place and a new grace
Your love, provision shown as you gave your child a new taste
The manna stocks of milk and honey
of Caedmon found at my feet
Then I dropped to my knees
For the God, he’s so complete
About face, he sees me
From the grips, the enemy
In the midst, my blunder through the thunder
You’re under me in victory
By no means is this journey finished, over, or complete
There are many Jericho’s walls
That’ll fall at Allah’s feet

Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
Lord you brought me along
I had a change through the desert
In you Lord that I’m strong
Raining bread from the heavens
Giving me a new song
Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
I’m pressing on

It's been a long time comin...

2008-09-21T17:30:00.002-04:00

So I finally got baptized today.

Another personality test.

2008-09-18T18:16:00.002-04:00

I needed something to do during my autocad class so I took a personality test. Here are the results:

According to this I'm a reserved visionary.

My personalDNA Report

So Apparently,

2008-09-17T17:35:00.005-04:00

before I get into my post I just want to say that I am having a lovely birthday and am hoping and praying that this year and being 20 is awesome and I get to experience new things and have deep genuine relationships.

Anyway, I took a personality test and I am an INFJ... basically here's the description...

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may end to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

I took this test here: http://www.personalitytype.com/prequiz.aspx What's your personality type?

It's my birthday!

2008-09-17T01:59:00.001-04:00

I'm 20 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I depressed, Angry, sad, or all three?

2008-09-13T19:25:00.003-04:00

So I've been laying in bed since I woke up at 9 am this morning. It is now 7:25 pm. Some days I just don't want to get out of bed. I mean I have kind of tentative plans that I can conveniently break. The "Maybe" option is my favorite on facebook. Me checking maybe on an event says "I support you but I'll probably not show up." I'm consistent with my inconsistencies. Days like this I claim that I'm recuperating from being in studio so much and that I miss being in my own bed. Maybe I'm right. Or maybe its a cop out. My best friend goes to a different school and lives in a different state. When she visited in the summer we were constantly doing something. Maybe I just like being alone and being me unapologetically. I like being around people to an extent. But I also like to be along. I'm an introverted extrovert. I'm a contemplative people person. I just don't really feel the need to be outgoing all of the time. But its to the point that if I'm not in studio or running around doing something for studio, I don't want to go out. Unless it's to eat. :-).

I've been getting angry during this political time. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for the elections. I love my candidate and I'm excited that this is going to be my first election! I've been doing my research but I keep running across pieces of media I would appropriately like to call GARBAGE. I'm not even going to plug it on my blog. I'm just very disappointed and upset that people are thinking that just because they're Christian they have to be right wing and conservative. They're bringing up straight up GARBAGE on the news and just making other people who are christians look stupid. I guess my political views gear to more social programs and stuff than to getting tax breaks. I feel like I'm conservative with my self, meaning if there are laws that state a certain thing that I think is morally wrong, man it's my blog... I'm just going to go right out and say it. Abortion. I think it's wrong but just because the country may permit it, that does not mean I'm going to go out and get one. Not everyone thinks like me. Some people were taught that sex was for marriage and some people were not. And then there are issues with rape and things of that nature. As a person who would never get an abortion unless there was like physical danger toward myself (then I'd have to pray about it, I haven't thought that through) I still know that just because you ban something doesn't mean people are going to listen. It's against the law to drink and drive and people still do it. Now unless people ban it and then start adopting some babies like crazy because people are not going to stop having sex just because you teach them about abstinence. Ugh. I'm rambling. Basically, I follow christ and I will be conservative with my self and personal choices but I have no right to dictate how someone deals with themselves. This said, one of my favorite passages is Isaiah 58 which talks about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and such. I will follow this and I just feel like my candidate is striving more for helping people with their everyday lives . I'm not choosing my candidate because he's the poster boy for my "squeeky" clean moral standards and he is what a real christian looks like and blah blah blah. I really just hate the labeling and elitist attitude that people are embracing.

I've been thinking about the 3 deaths in the family that have happened in the past 2 years. Well the last two have happened in the last 8 months. It's been a trying time. Fortunately I've been able to praise God through a lot of it. Even when you don't understand or you just

feel like you can't feel anymore. Trust in God and lean on him.

Please school me if I am wrong about something. The last thing I want to be is ignorant. And if you have any verses to get me out of this funk please offer them up. And pray for me. I know Jesus got angry... but he was perfect. lol.

I'm still alive.

2008-08-31T16:59:00.003-04:00

I realize I have not been blogging often. Can't say I'm sorry. I've been living life. Lol. I have two studios this semester and this is my last semester of Architorture!!! YES!!!! I got a single dorm room so no roommate!!!!!! I'm leading a bible study on Matthew!!! I've been trying to express my personal style through clothing lately and it's has been going well. Lol. I like to call my style "Retro Nerd-Chic." lol. I need to work out more. Projects are going good once I finally start them. I don't have much time on my hands at all. Basically I wrote this blog to show that I am still alive.

Ray Lamontagne

2008-07-27T00:11:00.002-04:00

Ray Lamontagne's music gives me chills.

Easier said than done.

2008-07-06T20:48:00.003-04:00

Okay so... I've learned a lot about myself in the last few weeks. Mostly I can sum it up with "things are easier said than done."

This year and in the years past I've experienced friends who get into relationships with guys and their world is now revolving around what Billy's doing and where Billy is and their relationship with Billy. They also lose themselves in this relationship. Goals that they once had are no longer or they just don't act the same anymore. They're boring to be around because they've become these giddy no backbone little girls...all over a boy.

Well I once vowed never to get like that.

Being single since birth I felt/feel that I know myself more than a lot of girls my age. I think a lot. I educate myself on things I don't know. For the most part I have majority female friends. I'm active in my christian org.

But I was not exempt from this utter attack. I thought I had enough self esteem and wisdom to stand my ground and not be moved by makeshift compliments. I thought I had replayed "the rules" of what you're not supposed to do with guys over and over to know where to draw the line.

There were no lines drawn on my part. I found myself falling into like with someone who I had never noticed as more than just a funny guy before because of a compliment and makeshift declaration of like that was so tangled up in a sticky situation that I knew could never be right...

But I still wanted to explore it. Explore this feeling. Even though I didn't think he was the guy for me. He fit my checklist for the most part I think except that... I didn't know his faith... and for a moment I didn't care. I was willing to just forget that detail...

Mr. Right? Probably not...just Mr. Right NOW.

Mr. Right now was himself. Funny and nice.

I was not myself. Mr. Right NOW said "jump" and I asked "how high?"

Before I knew he "could possibly like me" if the "situation was right." I was feisty...a firecracker... I would barely give him the time of day. I wasn't one of those girls who just fell all over a guy or was clingy. I was just me.

Somewhere beneath that there was some kind of longing though...to hear from someone of the opposite sex who fit some parts of your list that you were "something."

I guess for a split second God's validation wasn't enough.

When I was watching Leona Lewis video for "bleeding love" I finally saw how you can totally lose grasp of who you are when you're in a relationship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eqerpJPcjA

I learned a lot in these few weeks and its definitely easier said than done but I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am going to continue to grow and be satisfied and content with who God made me and not change for anyone. :-)

Psalm 139:14 - I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

I'm ready!

2008-07-04T14:58:00.002-04:00

One of the main concepts I've realized that I need in order to succeed in college is balance.

Last year I didn't have too much of it. I was often over stressed over the inevitable.

This summer I've been trying to find balance between work and play as well as opening my mind up to things in college.

My biggest fear is to become the religious right stuck in churchiness and christianity without the Christ.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not changing drastically or becoming this crazy image of a college kid people get that are like hippie-fied. I'm going to church as regular as I can, going to bible study every week, I have great people from my small group in my life, as well as good people outside of it.

I just felt kind of like I was suppressing stuff a lot. I wasn't making the most of everyday. Just going through the motions.

I also was judging things from the outside and thinking I shouldn't participate because somehow it would affect me in the biggest possible way for the worse.

There were just certain things I had to realize were not the devil, for lack of better phrasing.

And I also think that I had to just grow into a lot of things.

I feel like I sheltered myself a lot because I was scared of losing my "virtue" or sorts.

And in that respect I wasn't living. I was bored and lonely and sad.

And now I'm happy. I'm getting out there. I'm taking pride in how I look, in how I am fearfully and wonderfully made, meeting new people...and becoming less and less fearful every day. :-)

I feel like people don't get to know the real me because I don't let them and I need to fix that.

I'm ready!

I really don't have to time to be writing this...

2008-06-28T11:49:00.001-04:00

I have been listening to Brendan James' music lately and I love it.

Here's his rendition of Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she love me." Kind of makes me want to name a future daughter Aisha. lol.

Much more at a later time.

So I've been getting stuff out of this thing called Edumacation!

2008-06-01T19:50:00.004-04:00

Other than just chillaxing this summer in Gainesville, (I'm currently taking 1 class and will add on two more for the 2nd summer semester,) I've been putting my education to great use.

In many a tv show and movies (IRON MAN) I have been spotting highly priced very popular furniture designed by a couple of architecture icons...

This lounge to your left is the Charles and Ray Eames lounge chair that Pepper Potts was sitting on during Iron man, and I saw it on two other shows this week!

For the most part I've been seeing Mies Van Der Rohe's work a lot... This furniture is very pricey...

Charles and Ray Eames lounge retail price is around: $2,430
Mies Van Der Rohe's set is: $15,547
Le Corbusier's cube chair is: $3,655

I think I may live without furniture for a while...

So I've been like spotting these pieces all over tv and can tell most of the time when it's real or fake and I'm so proud of myself.

I have more to say but I just don't feel like blogging about it all right now.

So much for all talk and no action...

2008-04-17T15:03:00.003-04:00

I just donated to Blood:Water Mission...

And to Samaritan's purse...

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1304999839/bctid1307908090

I donated hot meals to children and some gospel story books.

Isaiah 58!

6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again.

13-14"If you watch your step on the Sabbath
and don't use my holy day for personal advantage,
If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy,
God's holy day as a celebration,
If you honor it by refusing 'business as usual,'
making money, running here and there—
Then you'll be free to enjoy God!
Oh, I'll make you ride high and soar above it all.
I'll make you feast on the inheritance of your ancestor Jacob."
Yes! God says so!

I don't think there is much left to write.

I am a dreamer...

2008-04-13T11:18:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about what I want to accomplish with my college career. It seems like my major is so hard and time consuming that I can't do anything sometimes! But with Christ I can do all things because he strengthens me! I also just want to place in his hands what I want to do because he knows what he wants for my life.

There are just so many possibilities and I don't want them to go by without giving them a chance. Well I have to go to studio now to get some more work done on my current FINAL project.

There are a lot of things I want to get done this summer and really grow in. Jesus is amazing.

In the begining of this year when I didn't get into something that I really wanted I told God that I'd spend this time waiting on it to come around again with HIM. Like really getting to know God and loving Him. I have and it's amazing. Much better than anything else I can imagine. I am at such peace now and I feel like I can do anything. I have grown so much in less than 3 months. spiritually, physically, and mentally. But I think when you grow spiritually it makes growing mentally and physically a lot easier.

I love how I am growing closer to friends that are genuinely great people who love the Lord. I need a spiritual mentor though. I think that's what I should pray about.

I've lately gotten very aware of different causes helping the tragedies going on in our world and have asked myself what can I do now to help and what can I do once I am in the work force to help. I think these are good questions to really pinpoint what outlook you have on your life in regards to Isaiah 58. That's basically my outlook right now, and of course psalm 31:30.

I also just finished reading this book and it's amazing...

Blood water mission

2008-04-11T11:06:00.002-04:00

http://www.bloodwatermission.com/?em1204=43914&em1205=43915&em1206=50607

watch this: http://www.bloodwatermission.com/bloodwater.mov

I've come to the realization that...

2008-04-10T17:46:00.001-04:00

Awareness means nothing without action

Ahhh the memories...

2008-04-05T23:19:00.006-04:00

So, I used to be in love with the Backstreet Boys. I was obsessed. Before B2k and after Michael Jackson, somewhere around the same time as Usher (but eventually they won my heart. It was about the time when Usher got a little too explicit in his act. I was like "woah buddy, I'm only in 3rd grade..." but that's another story.) The backstreet boys self-titles album was the first cd I ever bought. In third grade I remember kids first getting cd players so I had finally gotten my mom to buy me one and in search for some music I remember the perfectly displayed backstreet boys cd stand. Ahhhhhh. The picture to my left is a (in Borat's voice) VERY NICE picture of the boys.
I first remember them like the picture down below and then the second one by their second album Millenium.

I guess I'm writing about them because it's so crazy that something I had chosen to like 10-11 years ago is something I can still listen to now and the stuff I like during my later years sounds annoying now. I played all of my music out from the moment I first got the BSB cd to the stuff I have now. I tend to get so into one artist that I have to hear every song over and over until I know it and analyze it and picture it in my head and...
It's crazy, I know.
BSB is a little constant in my life that stays good. Something I can count on in ten years to sound good. I'll probably be going to their concerts when I have kids and they'll be like the band that all the moms go to...

Now I'm just rambling and making no sense. I just wanted to document my rediscovering and of course state that God is Amazing and the BIGGEST Constant you can count on. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow.

GOOD FRIDAY

2008-03-21T23:39:00.001-04:00

I've been trying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-19T09:56:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to blog for the longest time ever. Like a week almost. My internet in my dorm room is totally whacked. I'm in a building on campus now that has awesome reception or w/e. And now I don't even feel like blogging. Bah! I wish I could just blog from my head. I think in blogs now. I'll be just walking and a thought will come up but with some kind of pizzazz like I tend to do in my blogs. Lol. I'm crazy and just barfing onto the keyboard right now. This is making no sense. I need to write a letter to the people that helped me fund my trip but I either don't have internet, too busy to call (we're designing and building a bird bath with concrete!!!!!), or not in the mood to write a long email about how life changing it was. It was life changing though!

How fast can you type?

2008-02-24T11:23:00.001-05:00

63 words

Speed test

GOBAMA!!!!!!!

2008-02-18T10:41:00.003-05:00

I took this short quiz this morning which told me which candidate my views agreed with and it was the man himself! Barack!

http://glassbooth.org/Result/index/1378549/41387dadcee348463f3990a5bf6ba48b

Those are my results.

Election 08'

2008-02-18T00:07:00.003-05:00

So I've been getting pretty informed politically lately and all I can say is GOBAMA! I'll probably bring this up again and talk about the policies I really like but I'm working on a project and all I have so far are wood sticks glued together... and I have about 25% more to go.

Chicago... here I come... hopefully!

2008-02-17T23:57:00.004-05:00

I am writing to tell you of a wonderful opportunity I have to serve God and the Chicago community through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, which I have been involved in this semester at the University of Florida. Since seeing the work that God has done in my life and on my campus, God has given me a heart for helping those that are in need both here in Gainesville and around the world. For our coming spring break (March 8-13), InterVarsity at UF is giving college students the chance to participate in a Mission Trip to the inner city of Chicago, IL.

This past weekend the colleges in the north Florida chapter of InterVarsity came together and put together an offering for students that were trying to start their own interVarsity Christian fellowship in Guatemala. In that one day students gave generously and $1,100 dollars were raised on behalf of the students in Guatemala.

Knowing what a difference God and this organization can do overseas we are very excited to help out our neighbors in our own country.

Over Spring Break, I will work alongside Circle Urban Ministries and The Rock of Our Salvation Free Church in Chicago. The programs will consist of working with children in an after school environment or cleaning assignments. The purpose of this trip is to glorify the Lord in worship, learning, and service; to be transformed by the Word and the Spirit; to see the city well served; and to see our campuses renewed and world changers developed.

In order to participate in this opportunity, I must raise $473 for the airfare and expenses by March 1st. Because the date is only a few weeks away, I urgently need help with the funding to go. Would you consider giving a gift of $25, $50, or $100?

As I was just presented with this opportunity, the timing is urgent. In order to commit that I am going, I must have the money in hand very soon. If you would like to partner with me in reaching out to the inner city of Chicago please send your support and prayers.

Sincerely,

Danielle ______

http://www.cupivcf.org/

rough week ahead

2008-02-04T01:31:00.000-05:00

So in the past few days I've been trying to figure things out. Tomorrow is going to be really rough. I have a project due Tuesday and I have a lot to do. I have an exam tomorrow and one on Friday. Also there will be a project assigned for Thursday. That leaves Wednesday if another class doesn't assign anything due for that day.

My grandmother died on Thursday. She was an amazing person but I feel like it hasn't quite hit me. When I go back home on Friday I think I'll break down then. We were very close. it is said that if she had a favorite grandchild it would be me. We had a strong bond. She was ninety years old and lived a full life. She's now surrounded by angels and her savior, Jesus Christ, and what a better place to be! She's reunited with her husband and kids that have gone before her. I feel like she's having a good time with a bunch of people she hasn't seen a long time! I loved her and she had a huge impact on my spiritual and physical life. Through her faith, love, and strength....the memories of her live on. She was one of my greatest friends and I think I will be truly blessed to be in the company of anyone remotely like her again. She was truly beautiful and to be half the woman she was, raising ten children and endless numbers of grand and great-grand children, and instilling in them great moral character and sharing the love of God with others on a 2nd grade education, I would be truly blessed. I was graced with her presence for 19 years and I will remember my time with her every time I take a sip of chocolate tea, or eat some potato pudding, watch the price is right, or hear footsteps from squeaky bed slippers down the hall. I will remember her for her phrases "Eyelash older than beard," "Kiss me ratta," when she taught me about the family history by saying "Mi Muma Ethel," or when she once told me after I came home late without calling, "Yu know, your beauty is like your manners." No one's hugs compared to my dear granny's hugs. I remember her spankings with fondness. Like when Renee and I left our clothes in the bathroom. That must have been her pet peeve because I remember her telling us over and over not to. The pool was too exciting so we got in and I remember her coming outside with a slow and steady pace. I don't remember a belt, maybe Renee does but we had it coming. I jumped out of the pool quickly knowing it was better to get a beating quick then to have her mad for long. Maybe it was just that I couldn't swim and I figured I'd rather a beating then drown. Renee took her chances and stayed in the middle of the pool, where my grandmother, in all of her years had never stepped foot in. I took my beating like the obedient child I was and I don't too much remember anything else about the situation. I just know I never left my clothes in the bathroom again. She taught me so many things. I think I will have to live life some more to really discover or remember everything I learned because of her. I think I will have to live a whole lifetime to impact people the way she impacted me. We shared stories about her life all the time. I remember a picture of me as a really little kid, maybe Jordan's age or younger. I was at her feet while she was sitting in a chair. I remember she used to sew me undershirts all of the time. "Marinas" she'd call them. Well anyway, most of my memories of her and I talking involve her sitting on her chair in her room at Auntie Sybil's house rocking slightly and me asking questions. "So what was it like dancing around a maypole?" I'd ask. And she would answer in someway that was comforting. I loved to hear stories about when a woman who had always been old to me, was young. Apparently she was the maypole dancing queen and won some competitions. I'm so glad I got to spend 19 years with this woman and actually "spend time" with her. We became church buddies and story buddies and best friends. I will subconsciously take pieces of her personality with me always. As will we all.

I'm supposed to write a tribute to my grandmother and that's what I got so far. It definitly needs to be cleaned up grammatically and such but I wrote it on the spot as my thoughts flowed. She died peacefully. She's chillin now with God and the angels and loved ones so it really just sucks for us. But I'm going to be happy for her and I'll see her someday!

A letter to God.

2008-01-27T14:07:00.000-05:00

Dear God,

I'm sorry.

I was selfish. I lied to you. I put my joy in the hands of others and not in you. I tried to be in control and push your will out of the way. I was a hipocrit. I knew deep down that it wasn't my time and you had something different planned.

I tried to bargain with you. "Lord if you do this for me then I will definitely read my bible and..." I was so foolish and selfish. You're the best friend I could ever have yet I was about to forget about you for others that can't even compare.

Thank you for your grace, eternal love, and life. This year I will spend that extra time planned for something else to you. I will abide by your will God. No more tears. Lead me in the right direction God. please?

I need prayer!

2008-01-19T12:00:00.001-05:00

OK this isn't anything life threatening or anything but it would be great if people would pray for me. There are two things going on this week.
1) My architecture first project's final is due on tuesday. Or atleast mostly due. I need prayer that I use time wisely, don't get too stressed, and finish with an amazing project.
2) I have an interview this week for an organization I really want to be a part of. I've wanted to be a part of it since I was 16 and took a tour here. They gave the tour and I fell in love with the school. They're the official ambassadors to UF. I heard their interview is quite crazy. Think probably making up a song that describes you on the spot, telling them what is something unique about you, and so on. I'll let you all know how it goes. The interview is Thursday and I find out on Sunday the 27th. I'm already nervous thinking I won't be as fun or exciting as others. Hopefully God takes my nerves away and I can ace it. Here's a video...

Just an update...

2008-01-09T20:13:00.000-05:00

Architorture has started up again! I'm taking 5 classes this semester and am trying to keep up but it's looking good so far. I just came home to get some dinner and fuel up for the last drawing. We're drawing floorplans from Tadao Ando's Koshino house. He's supposed to be one of the greatest architects still alive.

I've been keeping up with my bible reading. It has been good.

I've been keeping in contact with friends and family which I didn't do much of last semester.

I've worked out and counted my calories successfully so far this week. I feel better now and never hungry or deprived. Even if I can't have two slices of bread because I don't have enough calories left by dinner time to make a whole sandwhich. Tonight I had chicken noodle soup and a melted cheese and turkey on a slice of bread. It was pretty good. I'm liking this way of eating. I no longer crave fast food or stuff on campus. I feel like I'm actually saving money too.

I must go back to studio and hopefully get out of their by midnight. It is now 8:17pm.

Engage the Journey 08

2008-01-05T15:08:00.001-05:00

So along with getting in shape and getting great grades in 08 I have also pledged to read the bible chronologically in one year. So far so good.

So today I read through Genesis 15, 16, and 17. It was about God's promise to Abram. God told Abram that he'd bless him but Abram was all "What good are blessings If I don't have descendants to carry them on" and what not. So God promised him a son but Abram didn't really believe him because him and his wife Sarai had tried to have kids but she couldn't. So yeah... God promised him that he would be the "father of many" and that he would have more descendants then the stars in the sky.

I really like finding out name meanings... in today's reading I found out that Ishmael means "God hears" and El-Shaddai means "God Almighty."

Another verse that stuck out to me was when God said "serve me faithfully and live a blameless life." A couple of weeks ago over break my home church's youth group went over the "blameless" issue that came up in proverbs.

I'm a little tired now so I'm going to be taking a nap.

Changes...

2007-12-29T02:25:00.000-05:00

I was on Facebook today and I found this video from a girl I met at church. Man it's amazing. It really got me thinking. I'm feeling like I'm leading a life of mediocrity. I 've been attempting to change my diet and exercise habits but I now realize that its not just what i am putting in my mouth that may be harmful but what i am putting into my mind. To put it bluntly, I read a lot of gossip. I know what celebrity was eating where last night, and it goes on and on and on.

My old youth paster once told me that something can become a habit in 30 days. So along with my new way of eating and exercising I'll be cutting out the gossip websites and magazines.

I'm going to be engaging in my bible reading also...which I'm very excited about.

I also plan on going back to church (back at school.)

God willing my projects gets less time consuming, I work faster, and I have an abundance of energy.

So I'm replacing the links I have to my gossip sites with this one...

http://www.freerice.com so I'll be feeding people and working on my vocabulary.

Hopefully this goes as planned, well as God plans, which I hope is close to mine ;-)

I ~~think~~ have an issue with control.

This is a picture my 3 year old cousin Jordan drew on Christmas Eve of him and his mom. I babysat him all day today. Whew!

I really don't have time to be blogging.

2007-12-26T12:17:00.001-05:00

But I got this really cute dress for Christmas from my cousin Renee (Sariah's mom.) It makes me feel like I'm going to a picnic in the 50's or something. Man I love clothes. I can't wait to start working out again and getting my physical self back on track. I'm going to try being a pescetarian for a month and see how that goes. I'll still be taking vitamins and making sure I have iron in them for my anemia but cutting out red meat and chicken. I'm going to also eat more salad and drink more water which i don't do much of now. I'm going to be working out 2-3 times a week about 4-5 hours a week. Hopefully I can save on money too. I love fresh starts!

Merry Almost Christmas

2007-12-24T21:55:00.000-05:00

My baby cousin Sariah is so stinking cute! Look at that fro! lol. I had a ball with her yesterday at her house playing around while I was waiting for her mom to do my hair. She's so sweet. She's smart too. I can't wait to see her again tomorrow. So... tomorrow's Christmas. I kinda don't feel it.

It's not even breazy outside. Sure I know it's Miami but come on.

I think i'm going to try out being a vegetarian of sorts for a month. I'll see how that goes. Of course starting after the holidays!

Well I've just got back home and I started the blog a couple of hours ago.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I kind of like this season...

2007-12-15T22:11:00.000-05:00

I think my theme song for the whole fall semester would be any Mat Kearney song... ahhhh I just love pensive, sad sounding-but not necessarily sad songs. And his show was spectacular. Just amazing. I know... why am I still thinking about it huh? That good!

I'm glad I'm single. I like me a lot. I've seen some friends that can't bare to be alone and its sad to me. It's like "You really don't think your good enough on your own?" I hope I never feel like I need someone else to validate my worth. And I really pray that I never put a mere mortal man that makes mistakes up on such a pedestal that I push my heavenly father aside for him. Granted these girls don't have much of a relationship with Christ but it's like nowadays people just can't believe that God would want to have anything to do with them. It's sad that there is such a lack of self esteem.

So I said I'm glad I'm single right? Well it's pretty much because I like how I learn new stuff about myself all the time. Plus with the little time I have I can spend it doing what I want to do.

Christmas is coming up. I went to church 3 times in the past 7 days. It's a lot when back up at school I went to church like 3 times the whole semester. It was fun though. We had a Christmas party last night which was great and I ended up bringing some sparkling grape juice. It was amazing. I really don't enjoy alcohol, at least the ones I've tried. So the grape juice was great. I mean... not that I'm of age or anything to drink or like I've had that many chances...mostly family parties and such.

I'm soooo old now that my list is pretty much obsolete. I bought my mom a bunch of little things. A dvd for two of my baby cousins. That's about it. I'm asking for the chronological bible, an extra battery for my laptop, and a few other little things. I think the whole college thing and pretty much buying stuff whenever you have the means and not having to wait kind of makes Christmas less of a selfish holiday like it has been in the past for me.

celebrity lookalike?

2007-12-02T20:46:00.000-05:00

A sigh of relief...

2007-11-30T18:10:00.001-05:00

So Design 1 of Architorture is finally over. I survived it! So I've decided that I'm going to get my bachelor's in Interior Design and then get my Masters in Architecture... because even if I were to get a bachelors in design (what most potential architects do) and be an architect I'd still want to focus on interiors. It is just what interests me more. So why not spend most of my undergrad studying interiors and then move on the my masters with two years of architecture and be able to do both? I hope it works out that way. I'm rambling right now. I'm thinking about baking cookies to go along with the cd of pictures that I'll be dropping off at my GTAs' (graduate teaching assistants) mailboxes. I baked around 45 cookies this week for random people working on their final in studio so I'll be making more soon. I'm a little tired so this blog will have to be continued...

This is pretty funny!

2007-11-29T14:46:00.000-05:00

Something to back up what I've been saying.

2007-11-17T22:41:00.000-05:00

So since I normally complain about the amount of time I spend in studio and how difficult and crazy my major is... I decided to make a collage of some of my photos from my latest model. Photography isn't really my strong point so far and neither is craft. lol. I usually have crooked pieces in my models. But that's what Design 1 is for I guess. I found out that one of my TA's had bad craft in D1 and in D2 so that made me feel better. I mean coming from a background with no art skills whatsoever I think I'm doing pretty well. I think I'll finish the class with a B.

I have no final exams and I think, if I calculated it right I can pretty much come back home the week after thanksgiving. No class till Jan 7 for spring semester. So that's over a month of watching lifetime movies, hanging out with the best friend, and sleeping a lot, not to mention not thinking about architecture!

Okay so my major is interior design... but sometime this week I was thinking of switching to architecture... but now I'm not sure. I need to speak to some professionals pronto.

DUDE I SUCK! BOOO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-12T22:02:00.000-05:00

How, tell me how did I go on with life for 3 months without checking on Daves Barnes site/myspace...and totally missing him and Matt Wertz on tour?

I heart Dave Barnes music mucho. Man. I don't know how I would have made it, who I would have gone with or anything. But I just... man i need more friends with cars who are willing to go to concerts all over the place.

The Orlando concert is tomorrow. Boo! So Sad. Love that guy's music.

A whole bunch of mumbo jumbo.

2007-11-06T20:47:00.000-05:00

I was going to write about my new found obsession with Nip/Tuck and Entourage...

Then I was going to talk about how frustrated I get when I can't get a seat in studio after I walked down my four flights of stairs, across the street, and up the never ending two flights of the studio, with all of my supplies to find the studio packed. I'm actually hoping people drop the major. The only times I feel like the school is too crowded is in the studio... not even game days do I feel this overwhelmed.

While living in the youth filled place called College, I barely get to see children. When I do my heart melts. I miss kids. I've been trying to grow closer to certain friends lately. Sometimes building relationships with people is what I need to truly feel. Just feel. Sometimes you're the only Jesus people see. Thinking about that makes me smile.

So because I'm in one of the most stressful majors at UF I have started doing something to relieve that stress. I know you'll be shocked to hear that I'm kinda sorta domestic. I like baking. One thing in particular... cup cakes. It's like working on a model...takes hours and sweat, tears, and maybe physical pain. I have the sore feet and hands and back to prove it! Cupcakes take very little effort, lots of care, and it just makes me feel good. I eat a couple while i'm icing them but I usually share them with girls on my floor or my design 1 class. They love it and I love doing it. And sometimes people are one thing away from feeling or doing something terrible. Maybe a cupcake and a smile will be that little thing that will make them feel a little bit better that day. :-)

So with cupcakes as a stress reliever comes the inevitable... it's really not just the cupcakes. Eating on the go, after a stressful time in studio at 2 am right before bed, whatever is in the fridge, and having a ben and jerry's semester long project isn't helping much either. So I ordered a armband for my ipod and jogging headphones. Hopefully I can jog and get back in shape... starting next week. I just really pray for order, peace, serenity, time, and God's blessings. I want to yearn for GOD and not be too tired to talk to him. He is our longest and most important relationship. He loved us and knew us before we were even conceived.

John 15:1-13 says:

Jesus Christ, is God's unique and eternal Son.¹ He is the Alpha and Omega,² the Great I AM,³ the "Mighty God"⁴ by whom all things were created⁵ and in whom all things consist.⁶ Jesus, who is the head of all things,⁷ humbled Himself in such a way that the human mind couldn't even bare the thought of it. He came into this sin-cursed world and actively partook in our sufferings. Even as we are flesh and blood, He shared in the same.⁸ He became a man and dwelt among us.⁹ He shared in the sufferings we brought upon ourselves through our rejection of His holy precepts.¹⁰ And as if that were not enough to convince us of His love and concern for us, Jesus, the immortal God and the Giver of Life, gave up His own life upon the cross in the greatest act of love the world has ever known! In doing so He took our sins away, effectively nailing them to the cross with Himself. Thus, He who knew no sin became sin for us¹¹ and He who gave life to all, tasted death for those condemned to it.¹²"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends"

I feel like crying when I read that. I think one of the things I am so grateful for is that I know God right now and at an early age... and now I'm just blabbing... I have to start my project for architecture and get something done tonight.

I love music artists who are searching for God and ones that have already found him. It makes my heart smile. Mat Kearney's "memorial stones" is a song about his whole journey with God. I think at one point he was selling drugs and stuff. When I saw him in concert (which happened to be at a bar) he was amazing. And although a lot of people were drunk/ smoking and stuff he seemed cool enough not to be all nose up in the air Christian about it. Even though I highly dislike the smell of smoke and the potential cancerous risks second hand smoke can have and the actions of people who are drunk, I think I could have been less snobby and been more Christlike. I think Jesus was never snobby. Correct me if I'm wrong. So here's a video of Mat Kearney's "Memorial Stones"

A young one, in just tears
Lying in my own fears
Lying, choking in a puddle
Drowning down in my own tears
Left you for the simple spread
Taking the steps it ends in
Lie down in a self-dug grave,
Cloud formed over my head as I laid myself down to rest
The enemy camped upon my chest
With blinded eyes and lies
Till cries he did profess
With rain and thundering storms
And clouds that fogged my intellect
With guilt and shame he built his house
And doubts in the form of self respect
With lightning that was frightening
Taking my eyes up off the Lord
Trying to discredit and edit
The words of truth he found in sword
He harmed me and disarmed me
And he charmed me with his army
But I stand before you right now
Cause the Lord came upon me
With the morning sun that pierced the cloud
And made the moisture dissipate
With a northern wind, the fog will clear
And the rays touched my face
Holy Spirit, warmed me, swarmed me
Touching me with a sweet taste
He picked me up, and kicked my butt
And placed me back in the right race
Lord, you brought me out of shackles
Divided seas all along
It’s in you that I still stand
It’s in you that I have song

Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
Lord you brought me along
I had a change through the desert
In you Lord that I’m strong
Raining bread from the heavens
Giving me a new song
Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
I’m pressing on

From the day to day, the miry clay
Through the wilderness astray
You brought me to the river Jordan
Bow my head down low and pray
And thank a faithful God
Who’s brought his water to my lip
Grabbed my hand and led me to the promised land where the honey drips
And the vines filled with fruit of all kinds
For the spirit, soul, and mind
Around the sound of chimes
The water stopped and came in line
And clattered feet sound
Israel crossed the dry ground
Memorial stones were laid down
In awe of your love that’s so profound
You brought the old into a new face
With a new place and a new grace
Your love, provision shown as you gave your child a new taste
The manna stocks of milk and honey
of (?) found at my feet
Then I dropped to my knees
For the God, he’s so complete
About face, he sees me
From the grips, the enemy
In the midst, my blunder through the thunder
You’re under me in victory
By no means is this journey finished, over, or complete
There are many Jericho’s walls
That’ll fall at Allah’s feet

Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
Lord you brought me along
I had a change through the desert
In you Lord that I’m strong
Raining bread from the heavens
Giving me a new song
Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
I’m pressing on

This was way too long of a post. I just feel like letting it all out sometimes. Whew...

MAT KEARNEY

2007-10-28T21:33:00.001-04:00

GUESS WHO SAW THE AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY SPECTACULAR MAT KEARNEY LAST NIGHT???? BOOYAH! I DID. I was so giddy the whole time. When Mat and I weren't making eye contact, he was cracking up the croud with his goofy candor. He's an awesome artist. He mentioned that one of his bass players is also a theologian. You can really see God working through his music. I'm at a loss for words. It like I have so much to say about him yet I'm still too excited to talk about it.

PS: He closed the show with my song, "ALL I NEED." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just when I thought I was growing up great music makes me revert back to my teenage girliness!

Studio Culture

2007-09-23T21:25:00.001-04:00

Although I don't have much time anymore, I'm pretty proud of my major...

Journal Assignment #1: “Studio Culture.”

I thought college life would be different. Actually I thought it would be different for me. Everyone around me is living the college life but I’m confined in the architecture studio almost every waking moment. It’s easy to get burnt out when you leave the studio at 6:45 am and have three hours of sleep and then a three hour class.

In studio there are two extremes. You have your peers who go to class and go home and on final day bring in something they spent no time at all on. Then you have your peers who are really dedicated to improving themselves and spend endless hours on projects and models. By endless I mean possibly forty hours on long projects (ones that last throughout the weekend) to twenty four hours on smaller ones.

We see the “college life” through windows high up on the second floor (which seems unreachable with models, laptop, and materials in hand while attempting to take the stairs,) or on our way to and from classes.

Classes, outside of studio and Architectural Design 1 (D1 for short) are seen as buffer. They are GPA raisers. The easy courses used to fulfill our general education requirement. We cannot care about other subjects. We don’t have time or the brain capacity. We don’t pick classes where reading is a requirement. Oh and writing is not even heard of. I made this mistake and well, I’m not too sure I want to experience Africa any longer.

You might see us around, us architecture kids. We’re really more than that… some of us are architects, but others of us are in allied fields such as Interior Design and landscape architecture. Some want to take over the world one building at a time, others want to restore the broken down, and others want to implement sustainability in everything they do.

You might see us grabbing a Starbucks double espresso, or in my case a frapp, with no time to sit and talk to our friends who at that time we just casually run into. Our meals are also to go. We have minor injuries and Band-Aids are a usual fashion accessory due to late nights with an Ulfa knife or Plexiglas cutter. We might be carrying our latest model. Please don’t touch it. It took us thirty three hours just to get that one piece of basswood to hold that Plexiglas at that exact height and if you touch it we risk our “craft” going down.

We’re either always tired or incredibly immune to exhaustion by now. We can go days without sleep and function quite nicely. Actually when you’re about to hit the sack from a long day of studying and reading all of those chapters, we’re brushing our teeth and getting ready for the midnight shipment of supplies and our pizza to arrive in the studio. We head off as if starting our work at midnight is all the norm and leave you in bewilderment.

Just an update inbetween stuff...

2007-08-08T12:04:00.001-04:00

So I have here just a quick update before I head off to do scholastic things. Today was the last day of my Human Sexuality and Culture class. I really liked that class. It touched me on a bunch of different levels. It just covered soooo much. I loved it. So I was a little sad to leave today.

I have finals tomorrow. My last exam for Human Sex and an actual final for math. I'm scared about math. Really scared. I really want a B in that class. Right now I have a C+... and I've been studying. I'm going to meet with my professor during her office hours to talk about it.

Lately I've been reading my bible on a daily basis. Its good stuff. I started reading Luke, and I'm just trying to see Jesus' life through reading it...and trying to apply his attitude in the things I do. Pretty amazing guy.

So like tomorrow, I have to pack. I started packing my clothes up and that's easy but I have to clean out my refrigerator and somehow have someone watch it get picked up because I'll be taking my final at that time. It's a rental and the company picks it up at the end of the summer and will be dropping it off when I arrive for fall.

This weekend I'm going to Islands of Adventure. I'll be facing my fear of roller coasters for the 387947928347289273894234872937th time. My cousin tries to get me to go on more and more each time. Hopefully I won't be forced into going on the Shikra. My stomach's churning just thinking about it!

This is the Hulk which I've been on numerous times. Did I mention my eyes are closed and i'm screaming the entire time?? I've never once opened them!

On to reading the bible. I'll reflect on the college life or something else later on!

Oxymoron! Me?

2007-07-25T19:46:00.000-04:00

So lately I've been feeling so... misunderstood, confused, and other things I can't verbalize. Basically at times I can be fun and amazing and goofy and hilarious. It's usually candid and not in huge groups. Then at times when I'm expected to speak and be full of life, ie the question "what makes you unique?" or "what's something interesting about you?" I tense up. I get butterflies, I want to throw up, I get sweaty palms and short of breath. My heart even beats a million times faster and its hard to swallow. For some reason I love to talk to friends, joke around, meet new people... but then if I go somewhere where that's the point I FREEZE! I came to the conclusion that I'm just a big old oxymoron.

I come across as bored, rude, boring, and ungrateful... when really I'm shy and anxious and really hate being put on the spot. I like to talk about myself but yet I don't. I love God but yet I can't vocalize it at times. It makes me think about all of the things in life that go unsaid and it makes me sad a little bit. Someone out there that thinks they know me may not at all. People are multifaceted and maybe just because they don't want to vocalize what motivates them to a group of strangers even though deep inside their mind they are thinking about the two younger cousins who they want to lead the way for and be an example of a successful person who started off just like them who made it, but is simply shy. I'm grateful. I'm grateful that God has speared my life and blessed me in so many ways. But at that moment when asked to volunteer to voice it, I panicked.

Am I struggling with my own personality traits and should I overcome my shyness or is it just an innate part of me that God put for a reason? Or because I have Christ in my life should I over come it for the sake of him? Am I like Moses? I'm so confused.

SOMEONE, ANYONE, REPLY WITH A BIBLE VERSE PLEASE.

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

My first week.

2007-07-04T19:54:00.001-04:00

So this time last week I was sighing for relief as my family left me in my dorm for the first time. And now I'm sighing for relief that my math homework is finally done. Phew! So now I finally know what college life is like... a lot of scheduling and time management. So far I'm doing well. Not homesick at all. I thought that hearing the voices of my grandmother and baby cousins on the phone would bring me to tears but it hasn't. And I'm glad. I have no time scheduled in for sadness. So far most of my activities have been things hosted by black fraternities in partnership with the AIM and PAACT program at school. Things like cookouts, tours, pool parties, clubs, and talent shows. My schedule has been filled with multiples of each. Last night I went to Flavet field and watched the fireworks... and even got a picture with Clifford the BIG I repeat BIG red dog... that I am clearly bigger than.

Clifford turned out to be an almost 15 year old boy. lol. If you look closely you can see his head on the right.

Although I'm never there, I love my dorm room. I'm very relaxed when I'm there.

I'm glad I'm seeing the truth about college and what things are myths and what not. Time management is key, there's really no need for a television unless you're sick, 2 meals a day are standard, and there's no reason to be bored or not meet someone. I think I meet 3423432432 new people everyday! More ~~later~~ in about another week!

Today is the day!

2007-06-16T11:19:00.000-04:00

Today is the last day I'm ever going to have to clean the bathroom that everyone else messes up! I'm so happy. After today there will be no more of this...

Don't get me wrong... I like a clean place... I just don't like cleaning up after people that are able to clean up after themselves.

HELLO dorm life!

Hallelujah!

2007-06-15T15:20:00.000-04:00

So I'm proud to announce that I have completed a right of passage in every teenagers life... I passed my Driving test and now I have my license!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I saw the movie Haven the other day and I loved it. I don't know... for some reason I love messed up movies...that leave you like "DANG." Movies like... Crash and Alpha Dog... sometimes they can be vulgar but they leave me with a deep emotion for the people in the movie that sometimes its sad to say I don't get in real life. Maybe its because after spending an hour and half to two hours delving deep into the lives of these people... you get the feeling that you know them in an intimate way. With real people that takes forever.

I leave in 10 days to Gainesville.. I will be celebrating with close friends tonight at the mall for a movie and pizza, yum. Maybe I'll even shop at aeropostale... THE TIME IS NOW! I think I'll be blogging a lot more when school starts.... hopefully things will get more exciting.

Prom pics/ Worship,

2007-05-10T18:40:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from Prom which was April 27th.... In the top Left I look like I'm getting ready for a ho down. Top Right: Odalys and I. Bottom Left: Rebeca, Maria, and I.

So church last night was famazing! Yes... Famazing... that is Fantastic and Amazing! Worship was amazing, youth group was fantastic... I was grinning from ear to ear. You ever just feel like everything is just going right? Yea that's how it was. During worship we prayed and I felt really bad about the way I treated this one friend this week. I pretty much know how to slyly be rude and mean and make it seem nonchalant and natural. I also realized that I need to work on forgiveness. I mean God forgave me right? Why is it so hard for me to forgive. I always have to have something up against someone. Hopefully God helps me get rid of that issue. I really want to be better.

Why is it that our worship team sounds way better than the original singers of songs that we sing in church? Make sense? Well they're just that good. Famazing!

In Youth group we talked about the end times and different aspects and theories about the rapture. Such as if we're going to be called up before the Antichrist comes, in the middle, or afterward. I hope its before. But I'm just sayin... lol. I have no say... and what would the world be like if I did? CHAOS!

So I was supposed to go out to dinner or a movie on Friday but that's caput. Whatev. Saturday I might do a movie day with my college friends who are broke. Sunday I'm going to church and then later on giving my mom presents and then going to a Shirley Caesar concert. Monday I head out to Gainesville till Wednesday. Then wednesday I go to Tampa for the night and head back to MIA on Thursday, hopefully in time to pick up my cap and gown at school. Somewhere during that time I have to study for my AP human geography test because I really want to pass it!

AP test, Chillin Out, Prom, and other..

2007-05-06T18:19:00.000-04:00

I love Feist's music. Its so calming and cool.

Today church was good. Really good.

9 days till

I'm in gator land! I have orientation on the 15th and 16th of May! It's been almost a year since I've been in Gainesville! lol. Pretty soon that'll be my home for 8 months out of the year! That's crazy. I'm feeling pretty good about today. I really need to get back on my workout schedule. I've been loving cookies, ice cream, cake, chips, and juice way too much in the past month. I have to start running! I can't wait to join the gym at UF. Well that's it!

Bible Reading...chords...

2007-05-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

So I've decided to read 1 book in the bible per week. I wonder If I can do it. I'm doing this in a random order because reading by themes (like the bible is organized) didn't work for me. So I read Ruth today and I liked it. Naomi was very devoted to her mother in law... I liked that and it turned out for the best in the end.

I'm tired because I had to get all dressed up to go back to school for an awards show tonight. I got my top 10% letter and my Science Honor Society chord... I'll have a special tassle on my graduation cap for the top 15% people. So Yeah it was good and I made a lot of noise for my friends and especially for salutatorian, Maria. No clapping for the valedictorian though. We don't support manipulators here. No sirree.

I'm done.

Prom

2007-04-25T17:28:00.000-04:00

Thank you Prom Dress! Thank you for still fitting me after my 2 week long love affair with ice cream cake and cookies and cream ice cream. Thank You very much for still wanting to be with me! I love you.

Thank you Michael Buble! Thank you for coming out with a new album that does not have the same songs the last one did! I'll forgive you for doing that in the past. Thank you for still singing... I love your voice. I love you!

Thank you Carmen for helping me get down to a smaller size without that even being my goal. I love you too!

(Not Pictured)
Thank You Jesus for forgiving me of my sins and saving me! Thanks for helping me to walk in your path and try to be a better person. Thanks for making my life so hilarious all of the time! Loves ya!

List of reasons/things I am happy about graduating/ going to college for.

2007-04-13T11:48:00.000-04:00

My title confuses me too... basically in 46 days I graduate from High School... and for 3 weeks and 4 days I have fun in Miami or some vacation. and then I head off to Gainesville on June 27th to move in... YAY! Classes start July 2nd and that's it! I'll be an official college student at the best place in the world! University of Florida!
So i stayed home today because I'm a bum. A fat bum. lol. I just ate some ice cream cake and 'twas good. Tomorrow I have Baynanza beach clean up... so that'll be fun. I love community service.
So to my list... things I will enjoy about being in college... and about not being at home/high school anymore.
In no particular order...

*New town to explore
*New people to meet that are from different places and backgrounds
*Christian clubs and other interest clubs
*getting to do what I like (arch/interior des)
*flexible schedule...no more 7 hours of non stop boredom.
*Making my own decisions
*No curfew
*Never having to clean a bathroom/ house again...
*Playing things like tennis and exercising when I want to
*Staying up late
*Waking up late (late as in not at the crack of dawn)
*Meeting people as passionate about God as I am
*Getting to decorate my dorm
*Going to basketball games
*Having stuff to do every night

better

2007-04-04T21:41:00.000-04:00

I learned a lot today especially about not wallowing in self pity and doubt and sadness... even though I did wollow a bit. Toward the end of the day I felt relieved in the comfort of friends and the worship music we sang. A lot of people die everyday and the least I can do is enjoy my time here. Thank you God for opening up my eyes.

Marvelous Light by Charlie Hall
Verse 1
I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep

Verse 2
Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take your life.

Pre-chorus
Sin has lost it's power,
death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
VICTORIOUSLY!

Chorus
Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

Verse 3
My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I'm free. now I'm free!

Bridge
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

Lift my hands and spin
See the light within...

grr

2007-03-28T21:13:00.000-04:00

I guess the number 1 rule of being wise is not to tell people you're wise. I made that mistake. Then I was just embarrassed. UGH.

Tomorrow I go to Boston... for six days... will be fun!

whatev... now i'm tired and my eye hurts.

Chill weekend

2007-03-25T21:16:00.000-04:00

So it's Sunday! Praise the Lord. Church was good today... had some good conversations. I find myself drawn to having conversations with people older than me rather than my age or younger. Whatev...

So... today I saw Premonition... twas good but too realistic in a non realistic way. I wanted to cry. I guess when I go see a movie I want to be watching a fantasy play out. Not real life stuff.

Yesterday I did a whole lotta nothing and worked out. Oh and today I watched the Florida-Oregon game... but left before it ended. Florida won! 85-77. Amazing.

That's it for today. Weekend was very chill.

sweaty... beach...museum...

2007-03-20T17:17:00.000-04:00

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH the smell of sweat! So I just finished working out and I feel Great! Something about the burning feeling I get afterward... I like! I feel like I'm seeing results already. Abs of steel here I come!

So tomorrow seeing that we get out of school at 10:45 AM and I don't have to do anything for AP Stats because we will be using that whole time period to sign up for grad bash buses... I am going to have a great day and afterward head to the beach with Maria and Laura. Yup Yup... the beach twice in 5 days! Last time it was too cold to go in the water so we just laid out. I'm cool with just laying out tomorrow. I feel so energized.

Speaking of AP Stats... yesterday the teacher was all like "Who wants to see their grade..." but I didn't want to be sad for the rest of the day so I declined knowing that I had a 2.41 C.... then when I got to 5th period and checked my grades on the computer I was shocked!!!!!!!! I had a 2.8 B !!!!!!!!!!! B in AP STATS! That's a miracle for me!

Thank you GOD!

So yea... so tomorrow isn't a real day of school which I'm thankful for... I do have an economics test though. Eh... I should study for it since that class is my worst class. Being my only gifted level class... not counting Philosophy... It is soooo irritating...

So on Thursday I'm going to the Bass Art Museum and get to be out of school uniform for the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay. And the art will be good too.

Lyric of the day: I'm just a raindrop in your ocean/ You have unleashed your love on me and it fills me up.

(Warren Barfield- Unleashed)

No school, Shopping, Beach, Scholarships, blah blah

2007-03-17T14:08:00.000-04:00

Man... I blog in my head more than on this site. Sometimes I think and I'm like "man I should blog that..." and I just get sooooooooooooo tired. The whole Youtube VLOG thing didn't work out. I'm not looking camera ready all the time so I just don't. Plus I have to edit. The only thing I edit here is my spelling and my potty sailor mouth (JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Wednesday night I got to church at like 7:15 and was bummed. I don't enjoy being late. It can throw me off so badly. But anywhoo I was doing a devo the other night and I came across the reassuring stuff that God is not like "Danielle you suck!!!!!!!" lol he's really not.

In God's Eyes I Am…

I am God's child.
Galatians 3:26

I am Jesus' friend.
John 15:15

I am a whole new person with a whole new life.
2 Corinthians 5:17

I am a place where God's Spirit lives.
1 Corinthians 6:19

I am God's Incredible work of art.
Ephesians 2:10

I am totally and completely forgiven.
1 John 1:9

I am created In God's likeness.
Ephesians 4:24

I am spiritually alive.
Ephesians 2:5

I am a citizen of Heaven.
Philippians 3:20

I am God's messenger to the world.
Acts 1:8

I am God's disciple-maker.
Matthew 28:19

I am the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:13

I am the light of the world.
Matthew 5:14

I am greatly loved.
Romans 5:8

So that's good. Then today I just realized I have been paying for rhapsody when I thought it wasn't working cause it wasn't and now it is and its perfect timing and their just playing the best songs and I'm feeling so AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH good.
Yea so on my day out of school yesterday... I went to sunset place...

And walked around for a bit... because it was not sunny. Then I saw someone from middle school and I was all like "HEY! ___________" and they were like "hey" and like ran away. I guess it was awkward for them. Whatever. lol.

So then it got sunny and we were like... "LETS GO TO THE BEACH!" So we did. And we ended up at Nikki Beach and had to pee. So we went into Nikki Beach the club and peed and it was nice inside. But whatever. Then we laid out on the sand and were like "Come on SUN COME OUT." and stuff. It was good.

Then we went walking around and I wanted to see Irene Marie Modeling Agency... because me and Maria watch the show "8th and Ocean" and wish it would come back. So after some shopping we saw it.

Right above Johnny Rockets... lol.

Then we got to see Miami Ink... which I watch only sometimes because everyone has the same story and wants to tattoo someone that died on them... There was a huge line outside and I didn't know why because we drove by. lol.

Man I hate getting hit on by dirty old men.

Anyways, I'm a finalist for an essay and here are my somewhat entertaining funny essay question responses. And yes I gave myself the title of "Director of Organizational Worship" because what else are you going to call someone that makes copies of music, puts them in a folder, types them in Easy Worship, makes sure there are pretty backgrounds for songs and no spelling errors, gets coffee and food for the drummer?

Common Scholarship Questions

Academics- ap stats, human geo, English lit, English lang, American hist, art history

Extracuriculars/community activities- jv girls volleyball manager (2004-2005), varsity girls volleyball manager (2004-2005), Italian Club (2004-2007), Science honor society (2005-2007) , BRCC- Youth leader (2006-2007), Camp Counselor(2005-2007), Director of organizational worship(2006-2007), Habitat for humanity(2007), NAAR WALK (2007)

How do you see your course of study affecting your goals for the future?

For most of my academic life, I have been apart of the Gifted program and most recently the Advanced Placement program. These programs strive to provide learning environments that challenged and prepare students for the amount of effort that higher institutes of learning can require students to exert. After so many years of taking Gifted level classes I had exhausted the possibilities of being challenged. In my junior year of high school I began taking two AP classes and found what I needed. I found that I succeeded academically as well as felt better when I was learning at a higher level. Senior year, while most of my peers were “taking it easy” I doubled my amount of AP classes and am continuing to satisfy my inner yearning for knowledge. Since I am no stranger to learning and do well in advanced environments, I see my goals as getting bachelor and master degrees in both interior design and architecture and one day opening up my own firm as a possibility. I am up for the challenge.

If you listed a leadership role in one or more of the activities or organizations cited above, please choose one, detail your responsibilities, and explain the significance of your contribution to the organization. Out of all of my leadership roles my most rewarding would be as Director of Organizational Worship at my church, Bird Road Community Church. As Director I work with the Worship leader and pick songs for the Wednesday night service as well as the Sunday morning service. I also make copies of music for the musicians, organize the music folder, make sure all of the lyrics are in the computer and are set up to be projected for the congregation to read from. For a contemporary service this is vital. I also aid the worship musicians in whatever they need from refreshments to an ear to make sure their microphone is not too loud. I have a heart for administrative work in this area and making sure something so vital as worship is organized is very important to the church and to most importantly praising God.

From the courses, activities, internships, and work experience, which one did you find most rewarding or personally satisfying? Explain why. The most personally satisfying thing that I do would be being Director of Organization Worship at my church. Worship,

Our time of praise through music and prayer is half an hour long but it is something that is very vital to the rest of the church service. It is a time to just relax and focus on God and to forget your problems. It prepares your heart for the message the pastor will preach later on. Being able to run the show behind the scenes while everyone is focused on the worship leader is very rewarding to me. I am more of an intimate person than one that adores the spotlight so being in the sound room in the back of the church and still be able to have a big important job is personally satisfying. Also seeing people cry because a song I chose was exactly what they needed to lift their spirits or speak to their hearts is amazing. I love to affect people in a positive way and at the same time serve God. This responsibility has been the perfect fit.

How has a family member or family experience been influential in your life?

The unexpected death of my aunt, Berlinda has been influential in my life. My aunt was a very giving lady who danced to her own beat and was the slowest driver I knew. She was full of life but towards the end, almost as If foreshadowing the end, all she did was work and sleep. Everyone was telling her to slow down on the working, but as a nurse’s assistant, she insisted she had to work all the hours she could. She worked the night shift and slept during the day. She was also rapidly gaining weight due to a thyroid problem. My family believes that she had some kind of illness but was too scared to tell us. We still have no idea what was her real cause of death. One night she told me she’d see me later and that was the last time I saw her. She collapsed at work and gained consciousness once since then but didn’t make it. Her death truly taught me that we’re all on borrowed time and that you can’t let life pass you by. I have decided to live everyday the best way I can and to just have fun because you will never know when your time will be up.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. An ethical dilemma I have faced is the overwhelming amount of teenage drinkers there are. Beyond a sip of champagne at a wedding, I have not indulged much in alcohol—but every Monday or so there is some story about how some group of people were “wasted” at a party and how “crazy” it was. Well I think underage drinking and drinking to get drunk is not a good choice. If I didn’t state my opinion I guess this dilemma would not have much of an impact on me—but I do. I usually say how I personally don’t drink and that I think I’m fun without the influence of alcohol. Stating things like this have an impact on me. It usually narrows down my friends list by a couple of double digits, I don’t get invited to parties much, and am stuck doing age appropriate stuff such as going to see a movie instead of going to a night club like most of my peers. I believe this impact is a good one because you only get to live once and I believe in living a healthy lifestyle and having people around me that believe the same thing.

PS: why do I always miss the very crazy last minute of Grey's Anatomy? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. THEY DO A GOOD JOB OF MAKING IT SEEM LIKE THE SHOWS OVER OR I GO INTO A COMA OR I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DO... I DIDN'T FIND OUT ABOUT THE ENGAGEMENT TILL SOMEONE BROUGHT IT UP AND I WAS LIKE "WHHHATTTTTTTTT!????????????" AND NOW SOMETHING WITH IZZIE AND GEORGE... I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO GET HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gifts, vow of silence, and math...

2007-03-07T21:35:00.000-05:00

So today I wrapped Virginia's gift... two days late but I mean she'll get it. We didn't have school on her birthday and I don't have a car. W/e. Today was a good day. I got over my bad grade on the math quiz and pending bad grade on the chapter test. We avoided work in Economics but got a lesson on good credit.

I exercised today and it felt good. Carmen Electra workout dvds are really good. So I pretty much realized that I can't diet because I just love the taste of good food too much. I mean I won't eat too late and I'm not being gluttonous... but when I want a cookie... I WANT A COOKIE. I'll just work out later. Which I do so I'm glad I'm sticking to it.

I was thinking of taking a vow of silence tomorrow. For what reason? Umm self reflection... I guess sometimes I can be self involved and self centered and I want to just take in my surroundings and observe people. I don't know if it'll work out because I can just see people talking to me tomorrow. Maybe I'll just cut it down to a need to speak basis and take that seriously.

Man along with my 250gb external hardrive, I bought a dvd collection of Bogie and Bacall classics. I have yet to watch it. Must make time tomorrow!

That's it for now.

Sketch, Study, Exodus who?

2007-03-04T08:59:00.000-05:00

I really need to sketch more. And while I'm at that... today I need to study for math! I'm .03 away from a B in AP stats. Man by the grace of God I've come a long way in that class! Thanks Jesus! I also need to read my bible. I'm still in Exodus 2 or something and I need to be like in Exodus 34289234789327. :-)

More later... time for church.

Cleaning... Grey's Anatomy...Free tuition,,,Crush Free

2007-03-03T20:13:00.000-05:00

So today I planned on cleaning my room and exercising. 1 out of 2 aint bad. I ended up cleaning my room while watching the complete 1st season of Grey's anatomy. Sweet. I watched the whole season and still wasn't finished cleaning. I even dusted my fan. I mean this was definitely SPRING cleaning. I cleaned my closet. I usually just stuff everything in there. So yesterday I found out that I'm getting my summer tuition paid for by UF because I'm in the AIM program. Or will be in. That's really cool. Ah-mazing! So. I'm pretty much over my crush that I had for like a year. He's still an awesome dude but the whole...nervous "I want to throw up everytime I see your face" in a good way nerves are gone. Isn't that crazy that even though they're gone I still see him as a good guy?? I usually see it work out for the worse after that period. I pretty much figured we won't be together anytime soon because of college choices and for the fact that I don't want to date someone just for the heck of it. We can be friends and hang out sure. But anything more? Why? Yea. I guess I'm guarding my heart, and my mind, and my feelings.

So yesterday I'm in first block and this kid is talking about a distinguished night club he wants to open up in the future so the conversation switches to what clubs people have been in in the grove area. Everyone's talking about their clubbing experience and I'm just sitting and taking it all in. He turns to me and he's like "have you ever been?" and I'm like "No. I don't club... yet." And he asked me "What do you do?" And I mean I just shrugged. I mean I hang out with college aged or mature kids and we don't club. We do things like go out to eat, go to the movies, go to the beach and have a picnic. And when they want to go clubbing I'm usually finding something else to do. Just not my scene right now.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this "wisdom" gift. But I guess I just know when I'm not ready for stuff. I'm aware of my awkwardness and how I come off to people. I usually look at this girls talking about clubbing and make comments in my mind that a mother would. I'm an old lady that way... especially since my bed time is like 7 and I drink tea. :-)

Something Beautiful to Say...

2007-02-06T19:04:00.000-05:00

Today was a long day! We were stuck in the gym for about 5 hours while the sophomore's took the Florida Writes test. I got my Aeropostale stuff in the mail and was disappointed with my watch. It didn't work. I decided to take it back along with my Old Navy purchases. I'm an impulsive shopper and that's kicking me in the butt. I've been thinking lately about being in Gainesville and that's been making me happy. I also realize that I haven't experienced Miami as much as I'd like to. Not like the clubbing part but the beach and water and beautiful part. The following verses have spoken to me today about my recent thoughts/ behavior...

Proverbs 20:3
3 It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels,
but fools love to pick fights.

Lately I've been picking fights with people at school. In most cases it's just fun but in one case with one particular person I choose that time to pretty much let out my negative feelings toward him in a "joking" manner. I realize it's mean and I pray that I can stop because Jesus loves everyone and I need to at least tolerate and respect everyone.

1 peter 4:1-2
1-2Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

I've been feeling this way toward the subject of boys. Well one in particular. I feel like these feelings won't go away; and after a year of having them... nothing has happened. Well I know Jesus didn't go through crushes (correct me if I'm wrong) but I know my patience problems and double guessing GOD is nothing compared to dying on a cross to save humanity. I just need to focus on God. I've been trying that. I've been reading my bible and trying to be a good Christ follower, so why won't these feelings go away?

I think my spiritual gift is wisdom/ administration... if I'm so wise why can't I figure myself out?

Genesis 27

2007-01-25T18:02:00.000-05:00

Rebekah was one crazy lady. She seemed like the most non content woman ever! She would rather die than give birth or then see her son (Jacob) marry a Hittite woman. Gimme a break! I just think she was just a conniving lady. I felt really bad for Essau. Man just when I think things aren't fair for me. First Jacob deceives him and gets his birthright for a hot meal (dude...was the hunger that painful?) Then he swindles his way and gets Isaac to believe his Essau and gets his blessing. That's just messed up... and what's with Isaac's last request of a meal? I guess the way to a man's stomach really is food. :-) The only character I felt for in the chapter was Essau. Poor guy. Oh and Jacob, you better run!

I've been really tired lately but unable to take naps. It's really bugging me. Now I only commit to three television shows (soon to be 4 once that new Bravo Interior Design show starts) and I have a lot of time while trying to avoid pesky homework. I still find myself wide awake during Tyra, Oprah/Ellen, and then flipping around to find something boring enough to fall asleep to. I'll lay in bed just thinking and before I know it it's time for dinner.

Speaking of thinking, that's one of the reasons I decided to create this blog. I came to the conclusion that I think way too much. Sometimes I have self induced headaches from thought. Daydreams galore. Ever wonder where your dreams have gone? Have you been sleeping dream less night? Well I found them! In my head. I'm dreaming/thinking for everyone. Every time I see someone unique or not so unique I make a list/award for it. My newest thing is "The 2007 Stand Up Guy" award. I feel like sometimes I live way more through my imagination than reality.

Well that's it for today. I have to go get ready for worship practice.