I'm still alive.

I realize I have not been blogging often. Can't say I'm sorry. I've been living life. Lol. I have two studios this semester and this is my last semester of Architorture!!! YES!!!! I got a single dorm room so no roommate!!!!!! I'm leading a bible study on Matthew!!! I've been trying to express my personal style through clothing lately and it's has been going well. Lol. I like to call my style "Retro Nerd-Chic." lol. I need to work out more. Projects are going good once I finally start them. I don't have much time on my hands at all. Basically I wrote this blog to show that I am still alive.

Ray Lamontagne

Ray Lamontagne's music gives me chills.

Easier said than done.

Okay so... I've learned a lot about myself in the last few weeks. Mostly I can sum it up with "things are easier said than done."

This year and in the years past I've experienced friends who get into relationships with guys and their world is now revolving around what Billy's doing and where Billy is and their relationship with Billy. They also lose themselves in this relationship. Goals that they once had are no longer or they just don't act the same anymore. They're boring to be around because they've become these giddy no backbone little girls...all over a boy.

Well I once vowed never to get like that.

Being single since birth I felt/feel that I know myself more than a lot of girls my age. I think a lot. I educate myself on things I don't know. For the most part I have majority female friends. I'm active in my christian org.

But I was not exempt from this utter attack. I thought I had enough self esteem and wisdom to stand my ground and not be moved by makeshift compliments. I thought I had replayed "the rules" of what you're not supposed to do with guys over and over to know where to draw the line.

There were no lines drawn on my part. I found myself falling into like with someone who I had never noticed as more than just a funny guy before because of a compliment and makeshift declaration of like that was so tangled up in a sticky situation that I knew could never be right...

But I still wanted to explore it. Explore this feeling. Even though I didn't think he was the guy for me. He fit my checklist for the most part I think except that... I didn't know his faith... and for a moment I didn't care. I was willing to just forget that detail...

Mr. Right? Probably not...just Mr. Right NOW.

Mr. Right now was himself. Funny and nice.

I was not myself. Mr. Right NOW said "jump" and I asked "how high?"

Before I knew he "could possibly like me" if the "situation was right." I was feisty...a firecracker... I would barely give him the time of day. I wasn't one of those girls who just fell all over a guy or was clingy. I was just me.

Somewhere beneath that there was some kind of longing though...to hear from someone of the opposite sex who fit some parts of your list that you were "something."

I guess for a split second God's validation wasn't enough.

When I was watching Leona Lewis video for "bleeding love" I finally saw how you can totally lose grasp of who you are when you're in a relationship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eqerpJPcjA

I learned a lot in these few weeks and its definitely easier said than done but I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am going to continue to grow and be satisfied and content with who God made me and not change for anyone. :-)


Psalm 139:14 - I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

I'm ready!

One of the main concepts I've realized that I need in order to succeed in college is balance.

Last year I didn't have too much of it. I was often over stressed over the inevitable.

This summer I've been trying to find balance between work and play as well as opening my mind up to things in college.

My biggest fear is to become the religious right stuck in churchiness and christianity without the Christ.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not changing drastically or becoming this crazy image of a college kid people get that are like hippie-fied. I'm going to church as regular as I can, going to bible study every week, I have great people from my small group in my life, as well as good people outside of it.

I just felt kind of like I was suppressing stuff a lot. I wasn't making the most of everyday. Just going through the motions.

I also was judging things from the outside and thinking I shouldn't participate because somehow it would affect me in the biggest possible way for the worse.

There were just certain things I had to realize were not the devil, for lack of better phrasing.

And I also think that I had to just grow into a lot of things.

I feel like I sheltered myself a lot because I was scared of losing my "virtue" or sorts.

And in that respect I wasn't living. I was bored and lonely and sad.

And now I'm happy. I'm getting out there. I'm taking pride in how I look, in how I am fearfully and wonderfully made, meeting new people...and becoming less and less fearful every day. :-)

I feel like people don't get to know the real me because I don't let them and I need to fix that.

I'm ready!

I really don't have to time to be writing this...

I have been listening to Brendan James' music lately and I love it.



Here's his rendition of Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she love me." Kind of makes me want to name a future daughter Aisha. lol.

Much more at a later time.

So I've been getting stuff out of this thing called Edumacation!

Other than just chillaxing this summer in Gainesville, (I'm currently taking 1 class and will add on two more for the 2nd summer semester,) I've been putting my education to great use.

In many a tv show and movies (IRON MAN) I have been spotting highly priced very popular furniture designed by a couple of architecture icons...

This lounge to your left is the Charles and Ray Eames lounge chair that Pepper Potts was sitting on during Iron man, and I saw it on two other shows this week!

For the most part I've been seeing Mies Van Der Rohe's work a lot... This furniture is very pricey...

Charles and Ray Eames lounge retail price is around: $2,430
Mies Van Der Rohe's set is: $15,547
Le Corbusier's cube chair is: $3,655

I think I may live without furniture for a while...

So I've been like spotting these pieces all over tv and can tell most of the time when it's real or fake and I'm so proud of myself.

I have more to say but I just don't feel like blogging about it all right now.

So much for all talk and no action...

I just donated to Blood:Water Mission...


And to Samaritan's purse...

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1304999839/bctid1307908090

I donated hot meals to children and some gospel story books.

Isaiah 58!

6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again.

13-14"If you watch your step on the Sabbath
and don't use my holy day for personal advantage,
If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy,
God's holy day as a celebration,
If you honor it by refusing 'business as usual,'
making money, running here and there—
Then you'll be free to enjoy God!
Oh, I'll make you ride high and soar above it all.
I'll make you feast on the inheritance of your ancestor Jacob."
Yes! God says so!

I don't think there is much left to write.