Changes...

I was on Facebook today and I found this video from a girl I met at church. Man it's amazing. It really got me thinking. I'm feeling like I'm leading a life of mediocrity. I 've been attempting to change my diet and exercise habits but I now realize that its not just what i am putting in my mouth that may be harmful but what i am putting into my mind. To put it bluntly, I read a lot of gossip. I know what celebrity was eating where last night, and it goes on and on and on.

My old youth paster once told me that something can become a habit in 30 days. So along with my new way of eating and exercising I'll be cutting out the gossip websites and magazines.

I'm going to be engaging in my bible reading also...which I'm very excited about.

I also plan on going back to church (back at school.)

God willing my projects gets less time consuming, I work faster, and I have an abundance of energy.

So I'm replacing the links I have to my gossip sites with this one...


http://www.freerice.com so I'll be feeding people and working on my vocabulary.

Hopefully this goes as planned, well as God plans, which I hope is close to mine ;-)

I think have an issue with control.


This is a picture my 3 year old cousin Jordan drew on Christmas Eve of him and his mom. I babysat him all day today. Whew!

I really don't have time to be blogging.

But I got this really cute dress for Christmas from my cousin Renee (Sariah's mom.) It makes me feel like I'm going to a picnic in the 50's or something. Man I love clothes. I can't wait to start working out again and getting my physical self back on track. I'm going to try being a pescetarian for a month and see how that goes. I'll still be taking vitamins and making sure I have iron in them for my anemia but cutting out red meat and chicken. I'm going to also eat more salad and drink more water which i don't do much of now. I'm going to be working out 2-3 times a week about 4-5 hours a week. Hopefully I can save on money too. I love fresh starts!

Merry Almost Christmas

My baby cousin Sariah is so stinking cute! Look at that fro! lol. I had a ball with her yesterday at her house playing around while I was waiting for her mom to do my hair. She's so sweet. She's smart too. I can't wait to see her again tomorrow. So... tomorrow's Christmas. I kinda don't feel it.

It's not even breazy outside. Sure I know it's Miami but come on.

I think i'm going to try out being a vegetarian of sorts for a month. I'll see how that goes. Of course starting after the holidays!

Well I've just got back home and I started the blog a couple of hours ago.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I kind of like this season...

I think my theme song for the whole fall semester would be any Mat Kearney song... ahhhh I just love pensive, sad sounding-but not necessarily sad songs. And his show was spectacular. Just amazing. I know... why am I still thinking about it huh? That good!

I'm glad I'm single. I like me a lot. I've seen some friends that can't bare to be alone and its sad to me. It's like "You really don't think your good enough on your own?" I hope I never feel like I need someone else to validate my worth. And I really pray that I never put a mere mortal man that makes mistakes up on such a pedestal that I push my heavenly father aside for him. Granted these girls don't have much of a relationship with Christ but it's like nowadays people just can't believe that God would want to have anything to do with them. It's sad that there is such a lack of self esteem.

So I said I'm glad I'm single right? Well it's pretty much because I like how I learn new stuff about myself all the time. Plus with the little time I have I can spend it doing what I want to do.

Christmas is coming up. I went to church 3 times in the past 7 days. It's a lot when back up at school I went to church like 3 times the whole semester. It was fun though. We had a Christmas party last night which was great and I ended up bringing some sparkling grape juice. It was amazing. I really don't enjoy alcohol, at least the ones I've tried. So the grape juice was great. I mean... not that I'm of age or anything to drink or like I've had that many chances...mostly family parties and such.

I'm soooo old now that my list is pretty much obsolete. I bought my mom a bunch of little things. A dvd for two of my baby cousins. That's about it. I'm asking for the chronological bible, an extra battery for my laptop, and a few other little things. I think the whole college thing and pretty much buying stuff whenever you have the means and not having to wait kind of makes Christmas less of a selfish holiday like it has been in the past for me.

celebrity lookalike?

%1

A sigh of relief...

So Design 1 of Architorture is finally over. I survived it! So I've decided that I'm going to get my bachelor's in Interior Design and then get my Masters in Architecture... because even if I were to get a bachelors in design (what most potential architects do) and be an architect I'd still want to focus on interiors. It is just what interests me more. So why not spend most of my undergrad studying interiors and then move on the my masters with two years of architecture and be able to do both? I hope it works out that way. I'm rambling right now. I'm thinking about baking cookies to go along with the cd of pictures that I'll be dropping off at my GTAs' (graduate teaching assistants) mailboxes. I baked around 45 cookies this week for random people working on their final in studio so I'll be making more soon. I'm a little tired so this blog will have to be continued...

This is pretty funny!

Something to back up what I've been saying.

So since I normally complain about the amount of time I spend in studio and how difficult and crazy my major is... I decided to make a collage of some of my photos from my latest model. Photography isn't really my strong point so far and neither is craft. lol. I usually have crooked pieces in my models. But that's what Design 1 is for I guess. I found out that one of my TA's had bad craft in D1 and in D2 so that made me feel better. I mean coming from a background with no art skills whatsoever I think I'm doing pretty well. I think I'll finish the class with a B.


I have no final exams and I think, if I calculated it right I can pretty much come back home the week after thanksgiving. No class till Jan 7 for spring semester. So that's over a month of watching lifetime movies, hanging out with the best friend, and sleeping a lot, not to mention not thinking about architecture!

Okay so my major is interior design... but sometime this week I was thinking of switching to architecture... but now I'm not sure. I need to speak to some professionals pronto.

DUDE I SUCK! BOOO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How, tell me how did I go on with life for 3 months without checking on Daves Barnes site/myspace...and totally missing him and Matt Wertz on tour?

I heart Dave Barnes music mucho. Man. I don't know how I would have made it, who I would have gone with or anything. But I just... man i need more friends with cars who are willing to go to concerts all over the place.

The Orlando concert is tomorrow. Boo! So Sad. Love that guy's music.

A whole bunch of mumbo jumbo.

I was going to write about my new found obsession with Nip/Tuck and Entourage...


Then I was going to talk about how frustrated I get when I can't get a seat in studio after I walked down my four flights of stairs, across the street, and up the never ending two flights of the studio, with all of my supplies to find the studio packed. I'm actually hoping people drop the major. The only times I feel like the school is too crowded is in the studio... not even game days do I feel this overwhelmed.


While living in the youth filled place called College, I barely get to see children. When I do my heart melts. I miss kids. I've been trying to grow closer to certain friends lately. Sometimes building relationships with people is what I need to truly feel. Just feel. Sometimes you're the only Jesus people see. Thinking about that makes me smile.


So because I'm in one of the most stressful majors at UF I have started doing something to relieve that stress. I know you'll be shocked to hear that I'm kinda sorta domestic. I like baking. One thing in particular... cup cakes. It's like working on a model...takes hours and sweat, tears, and maybe physical pain. I have the sore feet and hands and back to prove it! Cupcakes take very little effort, lots of care, and it just makes me feel good. I eat a couple while i'm icing them but I usually share them with girls on my floor or my design 1 class. They love it and I love doing it. And sometimes people are one thing away from feeling or doing something terrible. Maybe a cupcake and a smile will be that little thing that will make them feel a little bit better that day. :-)


So with cupcakes as a stress reliever comes the inevitable... it's really not just the cupcakes. Eating on the go, after a stressful time in studio at 2 am right before bed, whatever is in the fridge, and having a ben and jerry's semester long project isn't helping much either. So I ordered a armband for my ipod and jogging headphones. Hopefully I can jog and get back in shape... starting next week. I just really pray for order, peace, serenity, time, and God's blessings. I want to yearn for GOD and not be too tired to talk to him. He is our longest and most important relationship. He loved us and knew us before we were even conceived.

John 15:1-13 says:

Jesus Christ, is God's unique and eternal Son.¹ He is the Alpha and Omega,² the Great I AM,³ the "Mighty God"⁴ by whom all things were created⁵ and in whom all things consist.⁶ Jesus, who is the head of all things,⁷ humbled Himself in such a way that the human mind couldn't even bare the thought of it. He came into this sin-cursed world and actively partook in our sufferings. Even as we are flesh and blood, He shared in the same.⁸ He became a man and dwelt among us.⁹ He shared in the sufferings we brought upon ourselves through our rejection of His holy precepts.¹⁰ And as if that were not enough to convince us of His love and concern for us, Jesus, the immortal God and the Giver of Life, gave up His own life upon the cross in the greatest act of love the world has ever known! In doing so He took our sins away, effectively nailing them to the cross with Himself. Thus, He who knew no sin became sin for us¹¹ and He who gave life to all, tasted death for those condemned to it.¹² "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends"


I feel like crying when I read that. I think one of the things I am so grateful for is that I know God right now and at an early age... and now I'm just blabbing... I have to start my project for architecture and get something done tonight.


I love music artists who are searching for God and ones that have already found him. It makes my heart smile. Mat Kearney's "memorial stones" is a song about his whole journey with God. I think at one point he was selling drugs and stuff. When I saw him in concert (which happened to be at a bar) he was amazing. And although a lot of people were drunk/ smoking and stuff he seemed cool enough not to be all nose up in the air Christian about it. Even though I highly dislike the smell of smoke and the potential cancerous risks second hand smoke can have and the actions of people who are drunk, I think I could have been less snobby and been more Christlike. I think Jesus was never snobby. Correct me if I'm wrong. So here's a video of Mat Kearney's "Memorial Stones"



A young one, in just tears
Lying in my own fears
Lying, choking in a puddle
Drowning down in my own tears
Left you for the simple spread
Taking the steps it ends in
Lie down in a self-dug grave,
Cloud formed over my head as I laid myself down to rest
The enemy camped upon my chest
With blinded eyes and lies
Till cries he did profess
With rain and thundering storms
And clouds that fogged my intellect
With guilt and shame he built his house
And doubts in the form of self respect
With lightning that was frightening
Taking my eyes up off the Lord
Trying to discredit and edit
The words of truth he found in sword
He harmed me and disarmed me
And he charmed me with his army
But I stand before you right now
Cause the Lord came upon me
With the morning sun that pierced the cloud
And made the moisture dissipate
With a northern wind, the fog will clear
And the rays touched my face
Holy Spirit, warmed me, swarmed me
Touching me with a sweet taste
He picked me up, and kicked my butt
And placed me back in the right race
Lord, you brought me out of shackles
Divided seas all along
It’s in you that I still stand
It’s in you that I have song

Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
Lord you brought me along
I had a change through the desert
In you Lord that I’m strong
Raining bread from the heavens
Giving me a new song
Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
I’m pressing on

From the day to day, the miry clay
Through the wilderness astray
You brought me to the river Jordan
Bow my head down low and pray
And thank a faithful God
Who’s brought his water to my lip
Grabbed my hand and led me to the promised land where the honey drips
And the vines filled with fruit of all kinds
For the spirit, soul, and mind
Around the sound of chimes
The water stopped and came in line
And clattered feet sound
Israel crossed the dry ground
Memorial stones were laid down
In awe of your love that’s so profound
You brought the old into a new face
With a new place and a new grace
Your love, provision shown as you gave your child a new taste
The manna stocks of milk and honey
of (?) found at my feet
Then I dropped to my knees
For the God, he’s so complete
About face, he sees me
From the grips, the enemy
In the midst, my blunder through the thunder
You’re under me in victory
By no means is this journey finished, over, or complete
There are many Jericho’s walls
That’ll fall at Allah’s feet

Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
Lord you brought me along
I had a change through the desert
In you Lord that I’m strong
Raining bread from the heavens
Giving me a new song
Memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan
I’m pressing on


This was way too long of a post. I just feel like letting it all out sometimes. Whew...

MAT KEARNEY

GUESS WHO SAW THE AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY SPECTACULAR MAT KEARNEY LAST NIGHT???? BOOYAH! I DID. I was so giddy the whole time. When Mat and I weren't making eye contact, he was cracking up the croud with his goofy candor. He's an awesome artist. He mentioned that one of his bass players is also a theologian. You can really see God working through his music. I'm at a loss for words. It like I have so much to say about him yet I'm still too excited to talk about it.

PS: He closed the show with my song, "ALL I NEED." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just when I thought I was growing up great music makes me revert back to my teenage girliness!

Studio Culture

Although I don't have much time anymore, I'm pretty proud of my major...

Journal Assignment #1: “Studio Culture.”

I thought college life would be different. Actually I thought it would be different for me. Everyone around me is living the college life but I’m confined in the architecture studio almost every waking moment. It’s easy to get burnt out when you leave the studio at 6:45 am and have three hours of sleep and then a three hour class.

In studio there are two extremes. You have your peers who go to class and go home and on final day bring in something they spent no time at all on. Then you have your peers who are really dedicated to improving themselves and spend endless hours on projects and models. By endless I mean possibly forty hours on long projects (ones that last throughout the weekend) to twenty four hours on smaller ones.

We see the “college life” through windows high up on the second floor (which seems unreachable with models, laptop, and materials in hand while attempting to take the stairs,) or on our way to and from classes.

Classes, outside of studio and Architectural Design 1 (D1 for short) are seen as buffer. They are GPA raisers. The easy courses used to fulfill our general education requirement. We cannot care about other subjects. We don’t have time or the brain capacity. We don’t pick classes where reading is a requirement. Oh and writing is not even heard of. I made this mistake and well, I’m not too sure I want to experience Africa any longer.

You might see us around, us architecture kids. We’re really more than that… some of us are architects, but others of us are in allied fields such as Interior Design and landscape architecture. Some want to take over the world one building at a time, others want to restore the broken down, and others want to implement sustainability in everything they do.

You might see us grabbing a Starbucks double espresso, or in my case a frapp, with no time to sit and talk to our friends who at that time we just casually run into. Our meals are also to go. We have minor injuries and Band-Aids are a usual fashion accessory due to late nights with an Ulfa knife or Plexiglas cutter. We might be carrying our latest model. Please don’t touch it. It took us thirty three hours just to get that one piece of basswood to hold that Plexiglas at that exact height and if you touch it we risk our “craft” going down.

We’re either always tired or incredibly immune to exhaustion by now. We can go days without sleep and function quite nicely. Actually when you’re about to hit the sack from a long day of studying and reading all of those chapters, we’re brushing our teeth and getting ready for the midnight shipment of supplies and our pizza to arrive in the studio. We head off as if starting our work at midnight is all the norm and leave you in bewilderment.

Just an update inbetween stuff...

So I have here just a quick update before I head off to do scholastic things. Today was the last day of my Human Sexuality and Culture class. I really liked that class. It touched me on a bunch of different levels. It just covered soooo much. I loved it. So I was a little sad to leave today.


I have finals tomorrow. My last exam for Human Sex and an actual final for math. I'm scared about math. Really scared. I really want a B in that class. Right now I have a C+... and I've been studying. I'm going to meet with my professor during her office hours to talk about it.

Lately I've been reading my bible on a daily basis. Its good stuff. I started reading Luke, and I'm just trying to see Jesus' life through reading it...and trying to apply his attitude in the things I do. Pretty amazing guy.


So like tomorrow, I have to pack. I started packing my clothes up and that's easy but I have to clean out my refrigerator and somehow have someone watch it get picked up because I'll be taking my final at that time. It's a rental and the company picks it up at the end of the summer and will be dropping it off when I arrive for fall.


This weekend I'm going to Islands of Adventure. I'll be facing my fear of roller coasters for the 387947928347289273894234872937th time. My cousin tries to get me to go on more and more each time. Hopefully I won't be forced into going on the Shikra. My stomach's churning just thinking about it!

This is the Hulk which I've been on numerous times. Did I mention my eyes are closed and i'm screaming the entire time?? I've never once opened them!

On to reading the bible. I'll reflect on the college life or something else later on!

Oxymoron! Me?

So lately I've been feeling so... misunderstood, confused, and other things I can't verbalize. Basically at times I can be fun and amazing and goofy and hilarious. It's usually candid and not in huge groups. Then at times when I'm expected to speak and be full of life, ie the question "what makes you unique?" or "what's something interesting about you?" I tense up. I get butterflies, I want to throw up, I get sweaty palms and short of breath. My heart even beats a million times faster and its hard to swallow. For some reason I love to talk to friends, joke around, meet new people... but then if I go somewhere where that's the point I FREEZE! I came to the conclusion that I'm just a big old oxymoron.



I come across as bored, rude, boring, and ungrateful... when really I'm shy and anxious and really hate being put on the spot. I like to talk about myself but yet I don't. I love God but yet I can't vocalize it at times. It makes me think about all of the things in life that go unsaid and it makes me sad a little bit. Someone out there that thinks they know me may not at all. People are multifaceted and maybe just because they don't want to vocalize what motivates them to a group of strangers even though deep inside their mind they are thinking about the two younger cousins who they want to lead the way for and be an example of a successful person who started off just like them who made it, but is simply shy. I'm grateful. I'm grateful that God has speared my life and blessed me in so many ways. But at that moment when asked to volunteer to voice it, I panicked.



Am I struggling with my own personality traits and should I overcome my shyness or is it just an innate part of me that God put for a reason? Or because I have Christ in my life should I over come it for the sake of him? Am I like Moses? I'm so confused.

SOMEONE, ANYONE, REPLY WITH A BIBLE VERSE PLEASE.

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

My first week.

So this time last week I was sighing for relief as my family left me in my dorm for the first time. And now I'm sighing for relief that my math homework is finally done. Phew! So now I finally know what college life is like... a lot of scheduling and time management. So far I'm doing well. Not homesick at all. I thought that hearing the voices of my grandmother and baby cousins on the phone would bring me to tears but it hasn't. And I'm glad. I have no time scheduled in for sadness. So far most of my activities have been things hosted by black fraternities in partnership with the AIM and PAACT program at school. Things like cookouts, tours, pool parties, clubs, and talent shows. My schedule has been filled with multiples of each. Last night I went to Flavet field and watched the fireworks... and even got a picture with Clifford the BIG I repeat BIG red dog... that I am clearly bigger than.


Clifford turned out to be an almost 15 year old boy. lol. If you look closely you can see his head on the right.


Although I'm never there, I love my dorm room. I'm very relaxed when I'm there.

I'm glad I'm seeing the truth about college and what things are myths and what not. Time management is key, there's really no need for a television unless you're sick, 2 meals a day are standard, and there's no reason to be bored or not meet someone. I think I meet 3423432432 new people everyday! More later in about another week!

Today is the day!

Today is the last day I'm ever going to have to clean the bathroom that everyone else messes up! I'm so happy. After today there will be no more of this...



Don't get me wrong... I like a clean place... I just don't like cleaning up after people that are able to clean up after themselves.

HELLO dorm life!

Hallelujah!

So I'm proud to announce that I have completed a right of passage in every teenagers life... I passed my Driving test and now I have my license!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



So I saw the movie Haven the other day and I loved it. I don't know... for some reason I love messed up movies...that leave you like "DANG." Movies like... Crash and Alpha Dog... sometimes they can be vulgar but they leave me with a deep emotion for the people in the movie that sometimes its sad to say I don't get in real life. Maybe its because after spending an hour and half to two hours delving deep into the lives of these people... you get the feeling that you know them in an intimate way. With real people that takes forever.




I leave in 10 days to Gainesville.. I will be celebrating with close friends tonight at the mall for a movie and pizza, yum. Maybe I'll even shop at aeropostale... THE TIME IS NOW! I think I'll be blogging a lot more when school starts.... hopefully things will get more exciting.

Prom pics/ Worship,

Here are some pictures from Prom which was April 27th.... In the top Left I look like I'm getting ready for a ho down. Top Right: Odalys and I. Bottom Left: Rebeca, Maria, and I.










So church last night was famazing! Yes... Famazing... that is Fantastic and Amazing! Worship was amazing, youth group was fantastic... I was grinning from ear to ear. You ever just feel like everything is just going right? Yea that's how it was. During worship we prayed and I felt really bad about the way I treated this one friend this week. I pretty much know how to slyly be rude and mean and make it seem nonchalant and natural. I also realized that I need to work on forgiveness. I mean God forgave me right? Why is it so hard for me to forgive. I always have to have something up against someone. Hopefully God helps me get rid of that issue. I really want to be better.

Why is it that our worship team sounds way better than the original singers of songs that we sing in church? Make sense? Well they're just that good. Famazing!

In Youth group we talked about the end times and different aspects and theories about the rapture. Such as if we're going to be called up before the Antichrist comes, in the middle, or afterward. I hope its before. But I'm just sayin... lol. I have no say... and what would the world be like if I did? CHAOS!

So I was supposed to go out to dinner or a movie on Friday but that's caput. Whatev. Saturday I might do a movie day with my college friends who are broke. Sunday I'm going to church and then later on giving my mom presents and then going to a Shirley Caesar concert. Monday I head out to Gainesville till Wednesday. Then wednesday I go to Tampa for the night and head back to MIA on Thursday, hopefully in time to pick up my cap and gown at school. Somewhere during that time I have to study for my AP human geography test because I really want to pass it!

AP test, Chillin Out, Prom, and other..

I love Feist's music. Its so calming and cool.

Today church was good. Really good.

9 days till

I'm in gator land! I have orientation on the 15th and 16th of May! It's been almost a year since I've been in Gainesville! lol. Pretty soon that'll be my home for 8 months out of the year! That's crazy. I'm feeling pretty good about today. I really need to get back on my workout schedule. I've been loving cookies, ice cream, cake, chips, and juice way too much in the past month. I have to start running! I can't wait to join the gym at UF. Well that's it!

Bible Reading...chords...

So I've decided to read 1 book in the bible per week. I wonder If I can do it. I'm doing this in a random order because reading by themes (like the bible is organized) didn't work for me. So I read Ruth today and I liked it. Naomi was very devoted to her mother in law... I liked that and it turned out for the best in the end.

I'm tired because I had to get all dressed up to go back to school for an awards show tonight. I got my top 10% letter and my Science Honor Society chord... I'll have a special tassle on my graduation cap for the top 15% people. So Yeah it was good and I made a lot of noise for my friends and especially for salutatorian, Maria. No clapping for the valedictorian though. We don't support manipulators here. No sirree.

I'm done.

Prom

Thank you Prom Dress! Thank you for still fitting me after my 2 week long love affair with ice cream cake and cookies and cream ice cream. Thank You very much for still wanting to be with me! I love you.



Thank you Michael Buble! Thank you for coming out with a new album that does not have the same songs the last one did! I'll forgive you for doing that in the past. Thank you for still singing... I love your voice. I love you!


Thank you Carmen for helping me get down to a smaller size without that even being my goal. I love you too!


(Not Pictured)
Thank You Jesus for forgiving me of my sins and saving me! Thanks for helping me to walk in your path and try to be a better person. Thanks for making my life so hilarious all of the time! Loves ya!

List of reasons/things I am happy about graduating/ going to college for.

My title confuses me too... basically in 46 days I graduate from High School... and for 3 weeks and 4 days I have fun in Miami or some vacation. and then I head off to Gainesville on June 27th to move in... YAY! Classes start July 2nd and that's it! I'll be an official college student at the best place in the world! University of Florida!
So i stayed home today because I'm a bum. A fat bum. lol. I just ate some ice cream cake and 'twas good. Tomorrow I have Baynanza beach clean up... so that'll be fun. I love community service.
So to my list... things I will enjoy about being in college... and about not being at home/high school anymore.
In no particular order...

*New town to explore
*New people to meet that are from different places and backgrounds
*Christian clubs and other interest clubs
*getting to do what I like (arch/interior des)
*flexible schedule...no more 7 hours of non stop boredom.
*Making my own decisions
*No curfew
*Never having to clean a bathroom/ house again...
*Playing things like tennis and exercising when I want to
*Staying up late
*Waking up late (late as in not at the crack of dawn)
*Meeting people as passionate about God as I am
*Getting to decorate my dorm
*Going to basketball games
*Having stuff to do every night

better

I learned a lot today especially about not wallowing in self pity and doubt and sadness... even though I did wollow a bit. Toward the end of the day I felt relieved in the comfort of friends and the worship music we sang. A lot of people die everyday and the least I can do is enjoy my time here. Thank you God for opening up my eyes.

Marvelous Light by Charlie Hall
Verse 1
I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep

Verse 2
Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take your life.

Pre-chorus
Sin has lost it's power,
death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
VICTORIOUSLY!

Chorus
Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

Verse 3
My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I'm free. now I'm free!

Bridge
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

Lift my hands and spin
See the light within...

grr

I guess the number 1 rule of being wise is not to tell people you're wise. I made that mistake. Then I was just embarrassed. UGH.

Tomorrow I go to Boston... for six days... will be fun!


whatev... now i'm tired and my eye hurts.

Chill weekend

So it's Sunday! Praise the Lord. Church was good today... had some good conversations. I find myself drawn to having conversations with people older than me rather than my age or younger. Whatev...

So... today I saw Premonition... twas good but too realistic in a non realistic way. I wanted to cry. I guess when I go see a movie I want to be watching a fantasy play out. Not real life stuff.

Yesterday I did a whole lotta nothing and worked out. Oh and today I watched the Florida-Oregon game... but left before it ended. Florida won! 85-77. Amazing.

That's it for today. Weekend was very chill.

sweaty... beach...museum...

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH the smell of sweat! So I just finished working out and I feel Great! Something about the burning feeling I get afterward... I like! I feel like I'm seeing results already. Abs of steel here I come!

So tomorrow seeing that we get out of school at 10:45 AM and I don't have to do anything for AP Stats because we will be using that whole time period to sign up for grad bash buses... I am going to have a great day and afterward head to the beach with Maria and Laura. Yup Yup... the beach twice in 5 days! Last time it was too cold to go in the water so we just laid out. I'm cool with just laying out tomorrow. I feel so energized.

Speaking of AP Stats... yesterday the teacher was all like "Who wants to see their grade..." but I didn't want to be sad for the rest of the day so I declined knowing that I had a 2.41 C.... then when I got to 5th period and checked my grades on the computer I was shocked!!!!!!!! I had a 2.8 B !!!!!!!!!!! B in AP STATS! That's a miracle for me!

Thank you GOD!

So yea... so tomorrow isn't a real day of school which I'm thankful for... I do have an economics test though. Eh... I should study for it since that class is my worst class. Being my only gifted level class... not counting Philosophy... It is soooo irritating...

So on Thursday I'm going to the Bass Art Museum and get to be out of school uniform for the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay. And the art will be good too.

Lyric of the day: I'm just a raindrop in your ocean/ You have unleashed your love on me and it fills me up.

(Warren Barfield- Unleashed)

No school, Shopping, Beach, Scholarships, blah blah

Man... I blog in my head more than on this site. Sometimes I think and I'm like "man I should blog that..." and I just get sooooooooooooo tired. The whole Youtube VLOG thing didn't work out. I'm not looking camera ready all the time so I just don't. Plus I have to edit. The only thing I edit here is my spelling and my potty sailor mouth (JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Wednesday night I got to church at like 7:15 and was bummed. I don't enjoy being late. It can throw me off so badly. But anywhoo I was doing a devo the other night and I came across the reassuring stuff that God is not like "Danielle you suck!!!!!!!" lol he's really not.

In God's Eyes I Am…

I am God's child.
Galatians 3:26

I am Jesus' friend.
John 15:15

I am a whole new person with a whole new life.
2 Corinthians 5:17

I am a place where God's Spirit lives.
1 Corinthians 6:19

I am God's Incredible work of art.
Ephesians 2:10

I am totally and completely forgiven.
1 John 1:9

I am created In God's likeness.
Ephesians 4:24

I am spiritually alive.
Ephesians 2:5

I am a citizen of Heaven.
Philippians 3:20

I am God's messenger to the world.
Acts 1:8

I am God's disciple-maker.
Matthew 28:19

I am the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:13

I am the light of the world.
Matthew 5:14

I am greatly loved.
Romans 5:8

So that's good. Then today I just realized I have been paying for rhapsody when I thought it wasn't working cause it wasn't and now it is and its perfect timing and their just playing the best songs and I'm feeling so AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH good.
Yea so on my day out of school yesterday... I went to sunset place...


And walked around for a bit... because it was not sunny. Then I saw someone from middle school and I was all like "HEY! ___________" and they were like "hey" and like ran away. I guess it was awkward for them. Whatever. lol.

So then it got sunny and we were like... "LETS GO TO THE BEACH!" So we did. And we ended up at Nikki Beach and had to pee. So we went into Nikki Beach the club and peed and it was nice inside. But whatever. Then we laid out on the sand and were like "Come on SUN COME OUT." and stuff. It was good.

Then we went walking around and I wanted to see Irene Marie Modeling Agency... because me and Maria watch the show "8th and Ocean" and wish it would come back. So after some shopping we saw it.

Right above Johnny Rockets... lol.

Then we got to see Miami Ink... which I watch only sometimes because everyone has the same story and wants to tattoo someone that died on them... There was a huge line outside and I didn't know why because we drove by. lol.

Man I hate getting hit on by dirty old men.

Anyways, I'm a finalist for an essay and here are my somewhat entertaining funny essay question responses. And yes I gave myself the title of "Director of Organizational Worship" because what else are you going to call someone that makes copies of music, puts them in a folder, types them in Easy Worship, makes sure there are pretty backgrounds for songs and no spelling errors, gets coffee and food for the drummer?

Common Scholarship Questions

Academics- ap stats, human geo, English lit, English lang, American hist, art history

Extracuriculars/community activities- jv girls volleyball manager (2004-2005), varsity girls volleyball manager (2004-2005), Italian Club (2004-2007), Science honor society (2005-2007) , BRCC- Youth leader (2006-2007), Camp Counselor(2005-2007), Director of organizational worship(2006-2007), Habitat for humanity(2007), NAAR WALK (2007)

How do you see your course of study affecting your goals for the future?

For most of my academic life, I have been apart of the Gifted program and most recently the Advanced Placement program. These programs strive to provide learning environments that challenged and prepare students for the amount of effort that higher institutes of learning can require students to exert. After so many years of taking Gifted level classes I had exhausted the possibilities of being challenged. In my junior year of high school I began taking two AP classes and found what I needed. I found that I succeeded academically as well as felt better when I was learning at a higher level. Senior year, while most of my peers were “taking it easy” I doubled my amount of AP classes and am continuing to satisfy my inner yearning for knowledge. Since I am no stranger to learning and do well in advanced environments, I see my goals as getting bachelor and master degrees in both interior design and architecture and one day opening up my own firm as a possibility. I am up for the challenge.

If you listed a leadership role in one or more of the activities or organizations cited above, please choose one, detail your responsibilities, and explain the significance of your contribution to the organization. Out of all of my leadership roles my most rewarding would be as Director of Organizational Worship at my church, Bird Road Community Church. As Director I work with the Worship leader and pick songs for the Wednesday night service as well as the Sunday morning service. I also make copies of music for the musicians, organize the music folder, make sure all of the lyrics are in the computer and are set up to be projected for the congregation to read from. For a contemporary service this is vital. I also aid the worship musicians in whatever they need from refreshments to an ear to make sure their microphone is not too loud. I have a heart for administrative work in this area and making sure something so vital as worship is organized is very important to the church and to most importantly praising God.

From the courses, activities, internships, and work experience, which one did you find most rewarding or personally satisfying? Explain why. The most personally satisfying thing that I do would be being Director of Organization Worship at my church. Worship,

Our time of praise through music and prayer is half an hour long but it is something that is very vital to the rest of the church service. It is a time to just relax and focus on God and to forget your problems. It prepares your heart for the message the pastor will preach later on. Being able to run the show behind the scenes while everyone is focused on the worship leader is very rewarding to me. I am more of an intimate person than one that adores the spotlight so being in the sound room in the back of the church and still be able to have a big important job is personally satisfying. Also seeing people cry because a song I chose was exactly what they needed to lift their spirits or speak to their hearts is amazing. I love to affect people in a positive way and at the same time serve God. This responsibility has been the perfect fit.

How has a family member or family experience been influential in your life?

The unexpected death of my aunt, Berlinda has been influential in my life. My aunt was a very giving lady who danced to her own beat and was the slowest driver I knew. She was full of life but towards the end, almost as If foreshadowing the end, all she did was work and sleep. Everyone was telling her to slow down on the working, but as a nurse’s assistant, she insisted she had to work all the hours she could. She worked the night shift and slept during the day. She was also rapidly gaining weight due to a thyroid problem. My family believes that she had some kind of illness but was too scared to tell us. We still have no idea what was her real cause of death. One night she told me she’d see me later and that was the last time I saw her. She collapsed at work and gained consciousness once since then but didn’t make it. Her death truly taught me that we’re all on borrowed time and that you can’t let life pass you by. I have decided to live everyday the best way I can and to just have fun because you will never know when your time will be up.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. An ethical dilemma I have faced is the overwhelming amount of teenage drinkers there are. Beyond a sip of champagne at a wedding, I have not indulged much in alcohol—but every Monday or so there is some story about how some group of people were “wasted” at a party and how “crazy” it was. Well I think underage drinking and drinking to get drunk is not a good choice. If I didn’t state my opinion I guess this dilemma would not have much of an impact on me—but I do. I usually say how I personally don’t drink and that I think I’m fun without the influence of alcohol. Stating things like this have an impact on me. It usually narrows down my friends list by a couple of double digits, I don’t get invited to parties much, and am stuck doing age appropriate stuff such as going to see a movie instead of going to a night club like most of my peers. I believe this impact is a good one because you only get to live once and I believe in living a healthy lifestyle and having people around me that believe the same thing.

PS: why do I always miss the very crazy last minute of Grey's Anatomy? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. THEY DO A GOOD JOB OF MAKING IT SEEM LIKE THE SHOWS OVER OR I GO INTO A COMA OR I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DO... I DIDN'T FIND OUT ABOUT THE ENGAGEMENT TILL SOMEONE BROUGHT IT UP AND I WAS LIKE "WHHHATTTTTTTTT!????????????" AND NOW SOMETHING WITH IZZIE AND GEORGE... I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO GET HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gifts, vow of silence, and math...

So today I wrapped Virginia's gift... two days late but I mean she'll get it. We didn't have school on her birthday and I don't have a car. W/e. Today was a good day. I got over my bad grade on the math quiz and pending bad grade on the chapter test. We avoided work in Economics but got a lesson on good credit.

I exercised today and it felt good. Carmen Electra workout dvds are really good. So I pretty much realized that I can't diet because I just love the taste of good food too much. I mean I won't eat too late and I'm not being gluttonous... but when I want a cookie... I WANT A COOKIE. I'll just work out later. Which I do so I'm glad I'm sticking to it.

I was thinking of taking a vow of silence tomorrow. For what reason? Umm self reflection... I guess sometimes I can be self involved and self centered and I want to just take in my surroundings and observe people. I don't know if it'll work out because I can just see people talking to me tomorrow. Maybe I'll just cut it down to a need to speak basis and take that seriously.

Man along with my 250gb external hardrive, I bought a dvd collection of Bogie and Bacall classics. I have yet to watch it. Must make time tomorrow!

That's it for now.

Sketch, Study, Exodus who?

I really need to sketch more. And while I'm at that... today I need to study for math! I'm .03 away from a B in AP stats. Man by the grace of God I've come a long way in that class! Thanks Jesus! I also need to read my bible. I'm still in Exodus 2 or something and I need to be like in Exodus 34289234789327. :-)

More later... time for church.

Cleaning... Grey's Anatomy...Free tuition,,,Crush Free

So today I planned on cleaning my room and exercising. 1 out of 2 aint bad. I ended up cleaning my room while watching the complete 1st season of Grey's anatomy. Sweet. I watched the whole season and still wasn't finished cleaning. I even dusted my fan. I mean this was definitely SPRING cleaning. I cleaned my closet. I usually just stuff everything in there. So yesterday I found out that I'm getting my summer tuition paid for by UF because I'm in the AIM program. Or will be in. That's really cool. Ah-mazing! So. I'm pretty much over my crush that I had for like a year. He's still an awesome dude but the whole...nervous "I want to throw up everytime I see your face" in a good way nerves are gone. Isn't that crazy that even though they're gone I still see him as a good guy?? I usually see it work out for the worse after that period. I pretty much figured we won't be together anytime soon because of college choices and for the fact that I don't want to date someone just for the heck of it. We can be friends and hang out sure. But anything more? Why? Yea. I guess I'm guarding my heart, and my mind, and my feelings.

So yesterday I'm in first block and this kid is talking about a distinguished night club he wants to open up in the future so the conversation switches to what clubs people have been in in the grove area. Everyone's talking about their clubbing experience and I'm just sitting and taking it all in. He turns to me and he's like "have you ever been?" and I'm like "No. I don't club... yet." And he asked me "What do you do?" And I mean I just shrugged. I mean I hang out with college aged or mature kids and we don't club. We do things like go out to eat, go to the movies, go to the beach and have a picnic. And when they want to go clubbing I'm usually finding something else to do. Just not my scene right now.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this "wisdom" gift. But I guess I just know when I'm not ready for stuff. I'm aware of my awkwardness and how I come off to people. I usually look at this girls talking about clubbing and make comments in my mind that a mother would. I'm an old lady that way... especially since my bed time is like 7 and I drink tea. :-)

Something Beautiful to Say...

Today was a long day! We were stuck in the gym for about 5 hours while the sophomore's took the Florida Writes test. I got my Aeropostale stuff in the mail and was disappointed with my watch. It didn't work. I decided to take it back along with my Old Navy purchases. I'm an impulsive shopper and that's kicking me in the butt. I've been thinking lately about being in Gainesville and that's been making me happy. I also realize that I haven't experienced Miami as much as I'd like to. Not like the clubbing part but the beach and water and beautiful part. The following verses have spoken to me today about my recent thoughts/ behavior...

Proverbs 20:3
3 It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels,
but fools love to pick fights.

Lately I've been picking fights with people at school. In most cases it's just fun but in one case with one particular person I choose that time to pretty much let out my negative feelings toward him in a "joking" manner. I realize it's mean and I pray that I can stop because Jesus loves everyone and I need to at least tolerate and respect everyone.

1 peter 4:1-2
1-2Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

I've been feeling this way toward the subject of boys. Well one in particular. I feel like these feelings won't go away; and after a year of having them... nothing has happened. Well I know Jesus didn't go through crushes (correct me if I'm wrong) but I know my patience problems and double guessing GOD is nothing compared to dying on a cross to save humanity. I just need to focus on God. I've been trying that. I've been reading my bible and trying to be a good Christ follower, so why won't these feelings go away?

I think my spiritual gift is wisdom/ administration... if I'm so wise why can't I figure myself out?

Genesis 27

Rebekah was one crazy lady. She seemed like the most non content woman ever! She would rather die than give birth or then see her son (Jacob) marry a Hittite woman. Gimme a break! I just think she was just a conniving lady. I felt really bad for Essau. Man just when I think things aren't fair for me. First Jacob deceives him and gets his birthright for a hot meal (dude...was the hunger that painful?) Then he swindles his way and gets Isaac to believe his Essau and gets his blessing. That's just messed up... and what's with Isaac's last request of a meal? I guess the way to a man's stomach really is food. :-) The only character I felt for in the chapter was Essau. Poor guy. Oh and Jacob, you better run!

I've been really tired lately but unable to take naps. It's really bugging me. Now I only commit to three television shows (soon to be 4 once that new Bravo Interior Design show starts) and I have a lot of time while trying to avoid pesky homework. I still find myself wide awake during Tyra, Oprah/Ellen, and then flipping around to find something boring enough to fall asleep to. I'll lay in bed just thinking and before I know it it's time for dinner.

Speaking of thinking, that's one of the reasons I decided to create this blog. I came to the conclusion that I think way too much. Sometimes I have self induced headaches from thought. Daydreams galore. Ever wonder where your dreams have gone? Have you been sleeping dream less night? Well I found them! In my head. I'm dreaming/thinking for everyone. Every time I see someone unique or not so unique I make a list/award for it. My newest thing is "The 2007 Stand Up Guy" award. I feel like sometimes I live way more through my imagination than reality.

Well that's it for today. I have to go get ready for worship practice.